How Long Will I Love You?
by Eastendersfan444
Summary: Every day decisions you make can have far huger repercussions than you ever could have imagined…. if you had the chance to do things differently would you? And if you changed things would the end consequences still be the same? What would you do?
1. Chapter 1

How long will I love you?  
As long as stars are above you  
And longer, if I can.  
How long will I need you?  
As long as the seasons need to  
Follow their plan.

How long will I be with you?  
As long as the sea is bound to  
Wash upon the sand.

How long will I want you?  
As long as you want me to  
And longer by far.  
How long will I hold you?  
As long as your father told you,  
As long as you can.

How long will I give to you?  
As long as I live through you  
However long you say.

How long will I love you?  
As long as stars are above you  
And longer, if I may.

_[Spoken:]_  
We're all traveling through time together  
Every day of our lives.  
All we can do is do our best  
To relish this remarkable ride.

**Lyrics by Ellie Goulding.**

Chapter one to be posted 14 Feb 2015.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Okay…so here is my new story How Long Will I Love You. As you read this chapter you will see that I have done the unspeakable…. There is a tissue warning throughout this whole story…. Enjoy….well that doesn't seem like the right word…..**

**Chapter One.**

Joey looked at his watch and Alice frowned at him 'That's the fifth time you've looked at your watch in the last five minutes' she said to him.

'So? I'm allowed to look at my watch aren't I?' he snapped at her 'it was still a free country the last time I checked' he looked at the time again.

'What are you so grouchy about? Are you waiting for something? Or someone?' she asked him, ignoring his bad mood.

'Why don't you mind your own business, Alice?' Joey said, snatching his mobile phone off the coffee table and getting to his feet. He crossed the room and headed towards the stairs.

'Where are you going?' Alice asked him with a frown.

'I'm going to lie down I've got a headache' he snapped again.

Alice and her mother exchanged glances, 'do you need any painkillers?' Alice asked him worriedly.

'What would help is my little sister minding her own business' he grumbled as he stormed up the stairs. Alice grimaced as she heard his bedroom door slam shut.

'What did I do?' Alice asked her mother in confusion.

'Nothing, darling' she shook her head crossing the room to give her a hug. 'He just needs his own space sometimes is all' she told her reassuringly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren checked her reflection in the mirror in her bedroom. She didn't want to appear to go to too much of an effort but then again she did…not over the top… just subtle. She was nervous. She'd been on plenty of dates with plenty of other boys and she'd felt nervous then too, but that was nothing compared to how she was feeling now. She raised her hands in front of her and saw they were shaking. She smiled to herself, shaking her head. She was being silly. She had nothing to worry about. He was going to be there, of that she was certain. After all this had been his idea to start with. She smiled and sprayed herself with his favourite perfume and headed out of the bedroom. She let herself out of her one bedroomed flat and headed towards the tube station.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren sat in the café they'd arranged to meet in, nursing her third cup of coffee. She was certain she had the right place and the right time. She knew she had the right date. Valentine's Day. Her mind wandered back to the last time they'd seen each other. It was Boxing Day 2013. The day he'd confessed to her that he still loved her, that he'd always love her. It was the day he told her he was leaving Walford for good. Telling her there was nothing keeping him there anymore and that his mother had told him it was time for him to come home. And then he'd asked her to meet him at the train station and they'd leave together, make a fresh start somewhere else. Lauren had met him at the train station, not to go with him, but to say goodbye. She had been involved with Jake Stone at the time. A married man, someone she'd met at her AA meetings and at the time she'd thought he was what she wanted. What she needed. And if she was being truthful, she was still pretty pissed off at Joey for sleeping with Lucy, Whitney and then Janine. Even though she knew and understood the reasons why he did, she was still angry with him about it.

The two of them shared a tearful goodbye and he tucked her hair behind her ear and tapped her lightly on the nose. He picked up his bag and walked to the turnstile, he paused and turned to look at her.

'I tell you what. How about we meet up in five years' time?' he asked her 'if we don't meet up before?' he added 'And if we're both still single, we see if there's anything still there between us?' he asked her. Lauren nodded her head in agreement. She doubted that five years apart would extinguish the fire between them.

'Where?' she asked him.

'There's a café halfway between here and mum's' he told her softly 'Ruby's Café, it's on Rotherham Street in Bexley'

'I'll find it.' Lauren told him 'When?'

'Valentine's day at midday' he told her.

Lauren nodded her head with a small smile 'okay' she told him. Joey smiled and nodded his head too.

'Good' he said 'I'll be seeing ya, babe' he told her and then he turned and disappeared.

And that's where she was now. Ruby's Café. She'd got here early too. She looked at her watch and then checked the large black and white clock on the wall behind the counter. It was 1:30pm. He wasn't coming. She pushed away the coffee and stood up, the chair scraping on the floor as she did so. Lauren walked out of the café and she looked up and down the street, maybe Joey was just late and was still on his way and she'd see him running down the street towards the café. She looked across the street and she thought she saw movement in the alleyway next to the Indian Takeaway. She peered into the darkness but she couldn't see anything. She turned and headed towards the tube station. Lauren frowned and stopped in her tracks, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle, as though she was being watched. She looked behind her, part of her expecting to see Joey standing there, with his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the wall with a trademark smirk on his face. But there was no one there. She sighed and turned around again, continuing to walk to the tube station. She felt awful. Joey not showing up obviously meant he'd met someone else, he didn't love her anymore. She would've thought he would've sent a text or something to let her know. Maybe he forgot he'd agreed to meet her. She fought back tears on the train journey home, not wanting to make an even bigger fool of herself in front of random strangers.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror as she wiped off her makeup. She felt incredibly foolish and stupid. Joey wasn't even here and he'd managed to break her heart all over again. She should have left him chained up to that stupid metal flower in the park and not gone back to release him. He would've deserved it. She contemplated texting him to ask him where he was, but then decided if he'd forgotten she'd just come across as being foolish and desperate. She didn't even know if this was still his mobile number. She hadn't heard from him in the last four months. Maybe she should have taken that as a sign that he'd moved on instead of holding on to the childish dream she'd had for the last five years that she and Joey would finally get their happy ever after.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Two months passed and Lauren hadn't heard anything from Joey, granted she hadn't plucked up the courage to contact him either. He'd been in her thoughts a lot though and she was ashamed to admit, she'd tried to imagine how things could be different… if he'd turned up. Lauren was having a monthly dinner at her dad's place tonight. She didn't bother with much makeup. Just a bit of eyeliner and some lip gloss. Joey always told her she didn't need a lot of make-up. She smiled to herself as she remembered him telling her that. She checked her reflection one more time and then headed out of the flat.

A fifteen minute car drive later and she was parked outside her dad's house in Albert Square. The door was opened before she'd even finished walking up the steps. 'Hello, babe' her father beamed at her as he enveloped her in a tight hug. 'It's good to see you' he told her.

'I only saw you two days ago, dad, not two years ago' she giggled as he let her go, ushering her into the house.

'I know, I just miss you that's all' he told her 'this place is so empty without you kids here anymore' he said walking into the kitchen.

Lauren rolled her eyes 'you love it' she told him 'all the peace and quiet. No wet towels lying all over the place, not having to wait for the bathroom to be free. I bet you hoover naked!'

'Only at weekends' he called through from the kitchen.

Lauren giggled and hung her jacket over the back of a chair, walking into the kitchen. 'So what's for dinner?' she asked him 'I'm starving' she looked at the stove and saw it was off. She frowned

'Okay…what's going on dad? You said you were cooking'

'I thought we could have a takeaway later' he said to her. Lauren saw his eyes drop to a photograph album on the kitchen table.

'Have you been reminiscing again?' Lauren asked him and she sat down, pulling the book towards her. She smiled as she looked through some pictures of her as a little girl. 'Oh my god look at my teeth! I'm so glad you and mum made me get a brace!' she told him with a smile.

'You weren't at the time' Max said sitting down. 'Screamed merry hell for a whole week' he watched her look through the pictures. She stopped when she saw one of her and Joey smiling happily into the camera. Max frowned as she reached out and traced Joey's face with her fingers. He looked up at her and saw something cross her face, she sighed and shut the book with a loud clap. 'You think about him a lot?' he asked her.

'Sometimes' Lauren nodded her head. She looked up at him 'A lot lately' she admitted.

'Oh? Why lately?' Max looked at her expectantly.

Lauren looked down briefly, a frown marring her face and she looked up at her father. 'When he left…we sort of agreed to meet up in the future…, if we were both single and see if there was still anything else between us' she told him.

'When are you supposed to meet?' he asked her

'We were supposed to meet on Valentine's Day' Lauren said to him.

'Were? Didn't you go?' Max frowned at her. She got up and grabbed a glass from the cupboard next to the sink and filled it up with tap water. She took a couple of mouthfuls before turning back to him, leaning on the edge of the sink.

'I did go actually' Lauren flushed bright red. 'I waited for an hour and a half and he didn't show up' she told him 'I feel like a complete idiot for even thinking he'd be there. I feel even more of an idiot for going. And I feel completely mortified that I cried my eyes out on the tube on the way home, even though I tried to stop myself… That boy has gotten more tears out of me than anyone else I've ever met in my life' she frowned 'Well, not anymore. I'm done with Joey Branning' she said firmly.

Max swallowed, this was going to be harder than he thought. 'Lauren, darling, There's something I need to tell you' he told her softly.

'If you're about to tell me he's married with six kids or emigrated to Australia and is living life to the full and is happy and settled, I really don't want to hear it' Lauren frowned at him and then suddenly her face lit up 'However, on the other hand if you're going to tell me he has three months to live I'd be happy to hear that' she teased. Max's face paled and Lauren blinked at him 'Oh, God! You're not going to tell me that are you? Because I didn't mean it' she said, placing her hand over her heart. She could feel it pounding beneath her fingertips.

'No, darling, I'm not going to tell you that' he shook his head.

'Phew! Because that would make me feel even worse than I felt on Valentine's Day' she said slipping back into her chair.

'Sweetheart, there's no easy way to tell you this. Joey…Joey's dead, darling'

'What? No…no he can't be' Lauren whispered as the tears started to fall.

'I'm sorry, darling' he whispered as his daughter sobbed brokenly. 'I'm so sorry'

**AN: Well….there is the first chapter. A pact made five years over broken by Joey but why? Would things have been different if he'd gone to meet Lauren? I wonder…..next chapter up tomorrow. Don't forget to leave me a review. **


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: YES I KNOW I KILLED JOEY! Okay so…take two…this time different decisions are made…will this lead to a different outcome?**

**Chapter Two**

Joey looked at his watch and Alice frowned at him 'That's the fifth time you've looked at your watch in the last five minutes' she said to him.

'So? I'm allowed to look at my watch aren't I?' he snapped at her 'it was a free country the last time I checked'

'What are you so grouchy about? Are you waiting for something? Or someone?' she asked him.

'Why don't you mind your own business, Alice?' Joey said, he grabbed his phone off the coffee table and headed towards the stairs.

'Where are you going?' she asked him.

'I'm going to lie down I've got a headache' he snapped again. They could hear him thumping around upstairs and then he stomped down the stairs, his jacket and shoes on.

'Where are you going?' his mother asked him.

'Out. I need some air' he told her.

'I thought you had a headache?' Alice piped up.

'I do' Joey turned to look at her 'it's about this high…' he held his hand against the centre of his chest 'and goes by the name of Alice' he scowled at her. The two women heard the front door slam as he left the house.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Joey was standing across the street from the café, waiting for Lauren to show up. Not that was he being presumptuous in thinking she was going to show…he just knew her. And sure enough half an hour later he saw her head into the café, he looked at his watch, it was 11:30am. She was early, he smiled and knew when he walked in at midday she'd tell him she'd only just got there and the reason her coffee was half drunk was because she had extra milk in it. He watched her from his hiding place. She looked good. Better than good. Her hair had grown longer and had a natural curl to it on the ends. She'd also kept her natural colour. She looked slender and the red dress she was wearing really suited her. He watched her as she drank her coffee and checked her phone every few minutes. Some things never changed. She looked happy and she had a glow about her. He could tell she'd taken care with her appearance, not wanting to look too eager, but making an effort nonetheless. She was still as beautiful as he remembered her to be. Not that he'd really thought she wouldn't be.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Joey watched as Lauren checked the time on her phone and then the clock at the back of the café. She got up and walked out of the café, looking around the streets. At one point Joey thought she was looking straight at him, in his hiding place down an alleyway. It felt as though her eyes were burning into his. His breath caught in his throat. And then she turned and headed towards the tube station. Joey stepped out of the alleyway and he watched her as she walked away. She paused suddenly and turned around to look behind her. Joey held his breath again, part of him wanting her to see him. She shook her head with a sad smile and turned and walked away. Joey watched her until he couldn't see her anymore. He crossed the street and went into the café, ordering a coffee and sitting at the same table she'd been sitting at, sitting in the same seat. He felt closer to her somehow. Her perfume still lingered in the air and he smiled, closing his eyes.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Joey patted his pocket as he let himself back into the house, making sure his purchase he'd made on the way home was still there. 'Joey?' he heard his mum call out. 'You've been gone for over four hours! We were worried' she rushed towards him as he came into the room.

'Sorry, I just needed some air' he told her with a smile. He let his mother hug him tightly. 'I promise next time I'll call and let you know I'm okay' he told her.

'Where have you been?' she asked him.

'I went for a walk and then I had a coffee' he told her 'I'm a little tired. I'm going to go take a nap'

'Okay sweetheart' she nodded her head. Joey walked towards the stairs, pausing as he walked near Alice, he flung his arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

'I got you something' he said and he reached in his pocket and pulled out a packet of sweets and handed it to her.

'Joey! These are my favourites' she exclaimed as Joey got to the bottom of the stairs. He turned around and winked at her.

'I know' he told her before heading up to his room. He shrugged his coat off, putting the package he'd brought carefully on the bed. He took off his shoes and climbed on the bed. He unwrapped the packing from the box and took the bottle out. He removed the lid and sprayed a little bit of the perfume into the air. He closed his eyes and smiled. He could pretend that Lauren was in the room with him. He rolled onto his side and sprayed the perfume onto one of his pillows and then he carefully put the lid on and placed the bottle on his bedside table. The picture on his bedside table caught his eyes and he smiled reaching for it. He traced her features with his fingers, his hand lingering on her hair, he almost wished she was here so he could tuck her hair behind her ear. 'I love you, babe. Always' he whispered quietly.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

After the funeral, Alice went up to Joey's room and she sat down on his bed. There was only her and their mum at the funeral, no other family and no friends. Joey had stopped going out with his friends when he had the diagnosis. Joey had made them both promise that they wouldn't make a fuss…all he wanted was a simple funeral with just his mum and Alice. And they'd reluctantly agreed to do what he asked. When Alice had mentioned Lauren's name Joey had flown into a rage. He'd yelled at Alice and told her that she was not to contact Lauren under any circumstances. That he and Lauren had been over a long time ago and there'd be no good coming from raking up the past. He said he hoped Lauren was happy and that was how he wanted it to stay. He made her promise she wouldn't contact Lauren, he'd gotten so upset that Alice reluctantly agreed to that too.

She lay down on his bed, her head against his pillows, she could smell his shampoo on the fabric. Tears filled her eyes. He was gone. Her over-protective big brother was gone and she missed him so much. Who was going to take care of her now? Who was going to look out for her? She grabbed another one of his pillows and hugged it closer to her, frowning as she realised she could smell perfume on it. She recognised that scent and she racked her brains, trying to remember where she'd smelt it. She sat up and opened Joey's drawers, rifling through them to try and find what she was looking for. In the last drawer, her fingers brushed against something box shaped and she pulled it out, turning it in her hands as she looked at it. The box was empty, but it once held a bottle of perfume. She'd seen this box before…in Walford…in Albert Square. On Lauren's dressing table. This was the perfume Lauren wore. She frowned, wondering why Joey had a box of it...curious to know where the bottle was. She put the box on the bedside table and sat down on the bed again and looked around the room. She noticed something in the mirror on the wall across the room. There was something under the bed. She got down on her hands and knees and pulled out a shoebox and she sat down on the bed again with the box on her lap as she took off the lid. Inside the box was the bottle of perfume, a t-shirt and a picture of Lauren. 'Oh…Joey' she whispered softly. She made a decision and carried the box into her room and put it down on her desk. She found some paper and a pen and she started to write a letter.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren was walking across the square, she was meeting Lucy and Whitney for lunch in the café. 'Lauren!' her dad bellowed her name out from the other side of the market. Lauren turned and saw her father sprinting towards her, looking very red in the face.

'Careful dad, you look like you're going have a heart attack' she teased him.

'Ha ha, very funny, fit as a horse me' he told her 'what are you doing sneaking around the square? Not going to come and say hi to your poor old dad?'

'Yeah of course I was. After I'd had lunch with Whitney and Lucy' she told him.

'Good. Make sure you do. I've got some post for you at home' he told her 'I'll see you later then?'

'Yep, see you' Lauren smiled as her dad walked toward the Vic.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren was sitting on the sofa in her dad's house and she stared at the letter in her hand. She couldn't believe what was written there. She looked at the bottle of perfume and the t-shirt that had been included in the package.

She looked back at the letter and started to read it again.

_Dear Lauren._

_I know it's been a long time since I've written to you…I guess I was busy trying to get on with my life and wanting to forget about the things that happened in Albert Square. I feel guilty that the first time I write to you in months I have to tell you some bad news. Joey would kill me if he knew what I'm doing…he made me promise not to tell you, but then I found the bottle of perfume and a t-shirt in a box under his bed, along with a picture of you and I realised he'd lied to me. He told me that the two of you were long over and that he hadn't even thought about you for months but when I found the box I knew he'd lied to me._

_I don't know how to tell you this…and I know I should be there telling you face to face but I'm too afraid to come back to Walford…too much has happened there…._

_Six months ago, Joey was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour. The doctors told him that there was nothing they could do…and Joey being Joey just accepted that. You know how stubborn he could be. But in the end he was so brave, stubborn…but brave._

_Joey passed away in his sleep a week ago, mum and I have just come back from the funeral and I found the box and when I looked inside I knew I had to write to you._

_I'm so sorry you had to find out this way. I just thought you should know. Joey loved you so much…he never stopped. You brought out the best in him. Please don't be angry with Joey for not telling you. He didn't want you to think any less of him. He just wanted you to be happy. I thought you might want to have the perfume…and the t-shirt for a keepsake._

_I'm sorry…I know how much you'll miss him. We all will._

_Maybe you and I can meet up soon?_

_Love Alice xx _

Lauren licked her lips and took a deep breath, it was here in black and white…Joey was dead…gone.

Max came into the room 'Lauren? Everything okay?' he asked her. She looked up at her dad, tears in her eyes, rolling down her cheeks.

'It's Joey…he's dead' she whispered.

'What? No…he can't be…' he took the letter Lauren was holding from her and he read it. Dropping to his knees in front of his daughter. 'Oh, sweetheart' he dropped the letter when he'd finished reading and Lauren watched it flutter to the floor, the movement reminded her of another time when papers had fluttered to the floor….the pictures she'd drawn of Joey, the ones she'd dropped…and then they'd made love for the first time on the very sofa she was sitting on now…The same day he'd told her he loved her. She covered her face with her hands and cried. Max got up and sat down next to her taking his broken daughter into his arms. 'I'm sorry, darling' he whispered as his daughter sobbed brokenly. 'I'm so sorry'

**AN: Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. Yes I did it I killed Joey again. ****Well…Joey changed his mind and went to meet Lauren but didn't actually go in to see her…so only a small change in his decision but the end result was still the same. What if he actually saw her….I wonder….Back tomorrow…Leave me a review. **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I would like to start off these author notes with a public reply to a guest reviewer who reviewed and put the following:- **"This is so different to your other stories. I understand that not every story can be the same and sometimes change is good but in this case change is NOT good. I'm so upset and disappointed that joey is dead, as someone else said, it's strange how you become so attached to fictional characters. It would be the same if Lauren died. I won't be reading anymore. :( "

**Well, firstly let me say this…How rude and disrespectful you are guest reviewer. Hasn't anyone ever told you if you can't say anything nice then don't say it at all? What was the point of this review? Seriously? Do you have any idea how much time and effort goes into coming up with a story idea and getting it onto the page…clearly not. I appreciate you can't please 100% of the people all of the time and to be frank I wouldn't want to. If all the stories were the same what would be the point of writing them? I know I wouldn't want to read them. As for your end statement "I won't be reading anymore" Good! No loss there. Rude readers I can do without. And if there was a way I could block you from reading ANY of my stories I would.**

**Okay so back to How Long Will I Love you…..By now you should all begin to see that there is a theme to this story…that people's decisions can change their future... So let's see what happens in this chapter…**

**Chapter Three**

Today was Valentine's Day. And two people were getting ready to meet, getting ready to fulfil a promise made five years earlier.

Lauren checked her reflection for the eighth time in the mirror in her bedroom. She was nervous. Very nervous. She was wearing a red skater dress. Nothing too fancy and nothing too casual. She had minimal make up on, just a little bit of eyeliner and some lip gloss. Joey had always told her she didn't need to cake her face in makeup, she was a natural beauty. She smiled and raised her hands in front of her and saw they were shaking. She smiled to herself, shaking her head, she was being silly. She had nothing to worry about. He was going to be there, of that she was certain. She smiled and sprayed herself with his favourite perfume and headed out of the bedroom. She paused at the mirror by the door and checked her makeup one last time. She knew she looked perfect. She let herself out of her one bedroomed flat and headed towards the tube station, she could barely contain her excitement as she boarded the train and headed towards her rendezvous.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Joey looked at his watch and Alice frowned at him 'why do you keep looking at your watch?' she asked him.

'It's how you tell the time, Al' he replied with one of his trademark smirks.

'I know that, moron' she said 'You've looked at your watch five times in the last five minutes' she asked him.

'So, it's still a free county the last time I checked. I can look at my watch as many times as I like' he replied, checking his watch again. 'Okay. I'm going out' he said getting to his feet.

'I knew it!' Alice said 'you're meeting someone. Is it a girl?' Alice asked him excitedly.

'I'm meeting John and Larry down the snooker club' he told them 'if that's alright with you?' he looked at her.

'Oh' Alice deflated 'Fine' she sighed. 'What time will you be back? You've got to take three pills in two hours'

'Actually it's two pills in four hours' he replied. 'What? Are you trying to do kill me?' he teased her. He saw her face pale and her eyes fill with tears.

'That wasn't funny, Joey' she told him.

'Lighten up Al' he said walking over to her and crouching down in front of her. 'It was kind of funny' he reached out and brushed her tears away with his thumbs. 'I'll be a couple of hours, three at the most' he told 'and I'll call if I need you' he promised her 'and I might bring you back something nice' he told her. He moved forward and kissed her forehead gently before getting up and grabbing his coat, he shrugged it on and put his phone in his pocket. 'Mum. Al is having water-work issues again' he called through to the kitchen 'I'm off out, I'll see you later' he called out.

'Alright honey, have a good time. No alcohol!' she called through from the kitchen.

'Promise' he replied, rolling his eyes.

The two women heard the front door close behind him as he left the house.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Joey was standing across the street from the café, waiting for Lauren to show up. Not that was he being presumptuous in thinking she was going to show…he just knew her. And sure enough half an hour later he saw her head into the café, he looked at his watch, it was 11:30am. She was early, he smiled and knew when he walked in at midday she'd tell him she'd only just got there and the reason her coffee was half drunk was because she had extra milk in it. He watched her from his hiding place. She looked good. Better than good. Her hair had grown longer and had a natural curl to it on the ends. She'd also kept her natural colour. She looked slender and the red dress she was wearing really suited her. He watched her as she drank her coffee and checked her phone every few minutes. Some things never changed. She looked happy and she had a glow about her. He could tell she'd taken care with her appearance, not wanting to look too eager, but making an effort nonetheless. She was still as beautiful as he remembered her to be. Not that he'd really thought she wouldn't be. In that moment he knew his feelings for her hadn't changed a bit, not that he'd thought they would if he was being honest. He hadn't lived life as a monk over the past five years, far from it. He'd had girlfriends, quite a few, but none of them could live up to Lauren Branning. He was still madly in love with her. And he always would be he thought ruefully.

He checked his watch and saw it was time. He reached into his pocket and he pulled out the ring he'd found in his mother's jewellery box. It was her father's wedding ring, his grandfather's. He slid it onto the ring finger of his left hand, relieved it was a perfect fit. He was ready so he crossed the street and headed towards the café.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren looked up with a start as someone slid into the seat in front of her, placing a coffee down on the table. 'Alright, babe' Joey drawled with a smile. Lauren stared at him, drinking in the sight of him. Her heart skipped a beat in her chest as she looked into his brown eyes, as she saw the dimples in his cheeks. He was even more gorgeous than he was the last time she'd seen him.

'Yeah, you?' she replied trying to sound casual.

'Yeah, you know how it is?' he replied 'So you're still single then?' he asked her.

'Cut straight to the chase, Joey' she said as her cheeks flushed. 'What can I say, I don't exactly have a great track record with relationships' she told him. 'The whole Jake thing kind of exploded in my face and it put me off getting involved with anyone for a while' she admitted to him.

'I heard about that' Joey told her 'I'm really sorry' he said.

'And the words "I told you so" are just waiting to burst out of you' she said knowingly. 'Dad was furious and mum…God, she read me the riot act and threatened to send me to a convent' she confessed 'Lucy and Whitney were great though' she told him 'really supportive and understanding'

'That doesn't sound like Lucy' he said to her.

'She's changed a lot, Joey. She's not the same girl you knew. She's married now, to Lee Carter, his dad owns the Vic and they have the most adorable little girl called Courtney. I'm her godmother' Lauren smiled proudly.

'Wow' Joey said 'I never expected Lucy Beale to be married. She doesn't strike me as the settling down type'

'Like I said she's changed a lot. Lee's a pretty good influence on her' Lauren told him. She picked up her coffee and took a sip and then looked at Joey. 'I'm glad you came. I was worried you wouldn't' she admitted to him. 'So you're still single too, huh?' she asked him.

'Actually, no. I'm not' Joey replied and he held up his left hand to show her the wedding ring he wore. Lauren stared at the gold band on his finger.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren couldn't believe what Joey had just told her. She felt as though all the blood had drained out of her face, her heart felt as though it was being crushed in her chest. She felt stupid and foolish for coming now. She should've known better. Joey Branning was gorgeous and a ladies man. He could have any woman he wanted. Which apparently wasn't her. She stared down into her coffee, trying to get her emotions in check before she looked up at him again. She didn't want him to see the devastation on her face. 'So why did you come?' Lauren asked him. 'We agreed if we were both single we'd meet up here'

'I didn't want you to sit here all by yourself waiting for me to show up' he told her 'I thought at least I could meet you and tell you face to face' he told her.

'The wedding invitation got lost in the mail did it?' she asked him, a little bitterly.

'Like you would've come anyway' he said to her. 'I'm sure it's every girls dream to go to their ex-boyfriends wedding, compare herself to the woman he chose to marry. The girl that wasn't her' he said. Lauren blinked and looked down again. Joey realised that was a low blow and he sighed. 'Look, babe, I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you' he told her softly.

'You shouldn't have come' she told him 'I think I would've rather you not turn up than to hear what you just said'

'I'm sorry. I just…I didn't want to break the promise I made to you' he told her 'I've always kept my promises to you'

Lauren looked up at him, tears in her eyes 'well, that's not strictly true now, is it, Joey' she told him. 'You told me you'd love me forever' she said to him angrily.

'Forever turned out to be too long, babe' he replied. Lauren stared at him as she felt her heart shatter into a billion pieces. She got up, pulling her coat off the back off the chair. Her hair fell over her face, Joey had to fight back the urge he had to push it behind her ear. He watched her run from the café and down the street out of sight. A few moments later Joey got up too and left the café. He felt bad for what he'd had to do but it was the only way to get her to move on, to forget him. He couldn't offer her a future. Two months ago he was told he had six months to live. He had no idea how he was going to be in the end. Whether or not he'd still be the same Joey he was now or if he'd be a vegetable, unable to feed himself or go to the bathroom himself. He didn't want to put her through that. He loved her too much to make her go through that.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Joey checked his pocket as he let himself back into the house, making sure his purchase he'd made on the way home was still there. 'Joey?' Is that you?' he heard his mum call out'

'Yeah, mum it's me' he called back. 'Where's Al?' he asked her. His mum appeared in the kitchen doorway.

'She's gone to the shops. I'm out of milk and a few other things'

'You should have called me, I could've got it on the way back' he told her. 'How is she?'

'Your "joke" earlier didn't help things' Sarah scolded him.

'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset her…I got her these' he said pulling a packet of sweets out of his pocket and handing them to his mum.

'Joey! These are her favourites' she smiled at him.

'I know' he replied. 'I'm going to lie down for a bit before dinner' he told her softly.

'Okay. Did you have a good time?' she asked him. Joey looked at her blankly 'with your friends at the snooker hall?'

Yeah, mum I did' he nodded his head 'and no before you ask me, I didn't tell them' he told her 'I'd rather they just treat me as normal and not like some kind of freak' he said softly. She nodded her head, knowing he wasn't going to change his mind about it. He kissed her on the cheek before heading up to his room.

He shrugged his coat off, putting the package he'd brought carefully on the bed. He took off his shoes and climbed on the bed. He unwrapped the packing from the box and took the bottle out. He removed the lid and sprayed a little bit of the perfume into the air. He rolled onto his side and he sprayed the perfume onto one of his pillows and then he carefully put the lid back on it and placed the bottle on his bedside table. The picture on his bedside table caught his eyes and he smiled reaching for it. He traced her features with his fingers, his hand lingering on her hair, he almost wished she was here so he could tuck her hair behind her ear. 'I love you, babe. Always' he whispered quietly. 'I'm sorry I lied to you' he whispered 'One day you'll understand why'

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren let herself into her flat a couple of hours after she'd left the café. She looked at her reflection in the mirror by the door. She looked hideous. Her mascara had run down her cheeks and was smeared all over her face. She'd spent the entire train journey home crying like a baby and now she felt like such a fool. Joey had hurt her…again. She wished she'd never gone to meet him. She would've been better off not knowing that he had a happy new life she wasn't a part of. She went into the bathroom and took off the remnants of her make-up with a wipe, made herself a coffee and went to bed. She lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She wondered what his wife looked like. Did she look like her? She was glad Joey hadn't shown her a picture. There was no point dwelling on it now. It was done and there was nothing she could've done about it anyway. She picked up her coffee and took a tentative sip. For the first time in five and a half years she wished she could drink something stronger than coffee. Joey Branning certainly had a lot to answer for. She felt the tears fill her eyes again and she put the coffee down, curled into her pillow and cried.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Four months later, just as Lauren was about to go out, her doorbell rang. She ran to it and found the postman standing there. 'Good Morning. I have a recorded delivery package for Lauren Branning?'

'That's me' Lauren said as he handed her an electrical pad for her to sign.

'Thank you' he replied, taking the device back from her. He handed over the padded manila envelope and she closed the door. She looked at the time. She was going to be late for dinner at her dad's. She put the package on the table by the door, grabbed her keys and left.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren got home at 12:30am. Her dad had tried to insist she spent the night at the house but Lauren was eager to find out what the package was that had been delivered. It'd been bugging her all day. She hadn't ordered anything so was curious to find out what it was. She picked up the parcel and carried it through to the bedroom. She tossed it onto the bed and moved into the bathroom and took her makeup off and cleaned her teeth. She turned off the bathroom light before going back into the bedroom. She flicked on her bedside lamp and changed into her pyjama's and got into bed. She picked up the package and looked at the handwriting. She recognised it as Alice's. She wondered what Alice had sent her. Lauren ripped open the package and shook the contents out onto the duvet. A bottle fell out, along with a t-shirt and an envelope and a sheet of A4 paper. Lauren picked up the bottle and saw it was half a bottle of her favourite perfume.

'Okay, Al, even for you…this is strange' she said quietly. She put the bottle on her bedside table and picked up the t-shirt and unrolled it. It was one of Joey's. 'And now we're getting even stranger' Lauren murmured. She recognised the t-shirt instantly, this was her favourite t-shirt of Joey's. The one she always slept in when she stayed over at his when he lived in the square. She picked up the A4 piece of paper and she started to read.

_Dear Lauren._

_I know it's been a long time since I've written to you…I guess I was busy trying to get on with my life and wanting to forget about the things that happened in Albert Square. I feel guilty that the first time I write to you in months I have to share some bad news. Joey made me promise that I'd send the enclosed to you, as well as a letter he wrote to you which he assured me explains everything. _

_I'm so sorry Lauren. If you need to talk, you know where I am._

_Maybe you and I can meet up soon?_

_Love Alice xx _

Lauren had never been more confused in her life. Why in the hell was Joey writing to her, care of Alice? Didn't he have the courage to send it to her himself? Granted she'd probably have ripped up the letter and put it in the bin without reading it but still…now that it'd been sent via Alice she felt as though she owed it to Alice to read it. She sighed and picked up Joey's letter, she stared at it for a few moments and then turned it over and ripped it open.

_Lauren._

_If you're reading this then it means I have some explaining to do. But first of all I need to tell you that I'm so sorry I lied to you when I told you I was married. I'm not. The ring was my grandfather's and I borrowed it from my mum for the day. I know you were hurt when you thought I'd moved on with my life and that you weren't going to be a part of it but I thought it was the only way to spare you from the truth. _

_You looked so beautiful that day, even more beautiful than I remembered. It took every piece of strength that I had in me not to just confess and tell you the truth and leave the ball in your court and let you decide what you wanted to do…the only stipulation I would've had was that you kept what you found out a secret…and then I remembered that your whole life you've been keeping secrets, your mum's, your dad's, us…and I saw first-hand what that did to you and I knew that I couldn't ever put you in that position again._

_I left the café just after you did and I had to stop off and buy a bottle of your favourite perfume. I sprayed it on one of my pillows so when I went to bed I could pretend that you were lying there with me. I guess that sounds a little sad, doesn't it?_

_The past few months have been really difficult for mum and Alice. Having to deal with my mood swings…the days where I wasn't able to get out of bed because I was in too much pain. The never ending nosebleeds… I know this isn't making much sense and you're probably really confused._

_Two months before we met, I went to the doctors. I'd been suffering from really bad headaches and nose bleeds for a couple of weeks and mum and Al had been nagging me to go…he referred me to the hospital and I was diagnosed with a brain tumour. They told me there was nothing they could do and it was just a matter of time before… I can't even write the words… not even now…they gave me six months. Six months to put my affairs in order is how the consultant phrased it. _

_I know what I did was selfish, but I wanted to see you one last time. You've no idea how hard it was for me to lie to you, to let you walk away from me when all I wanted to do was hold you so tightly and never let you go. _

_I asked Alice to post this to you after the funeral...I didn't want a big fuss… Please don't be mad with me, babe. You know I hated it when you were mad with me. I was just doing what I thought was right for you. _

_I love you so much Lauren…You take care of yourself, you hear me?_

_Goodbye, babe._

_All my love_

_Joey xxxx _

Lauren screwed the letter up in her hands as the tears streamed down her face. Joey was gone. She was so mad at him right now…he should've told her the truth…given her some credit and let her make her own decisions. They could've had six months together…six months would've been better than this. Six months of believing a lie he'd told her to protect her.

She wiped her face with her hands and brushed everything onto the floor angrily, laying down on the bed and hugging her pillow tightly to her. He was right, he was selfish. He could fool himself into thinking he was doing the best for her but all along he was just looking out for himself. She fell asleep that night crying hot angry tears for the boy she knew she loved with all her heart. The boy she would always love.

**AN: Thank you for the review for the chapter. Well this time Joey chose to go and see Lauren but he chose not to tell her the truth…and nothing changed…the end result was still the same…if only Joey could do things all over again….back tomorrow. Leave me a review. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Four**

Lauren looked up with a start as someone slid into the seat in front of her, placing a coffee down on the table. She'd been rethinking her decision to turn down a job she'd been offered not far from here, even though she was too late, the job had now been given to someone else…she wondered what could have happened if she'd taken it.

'Alright, babe' Joey drawled with a smile. Lauren stared at him. He was even more gorgeous than he was the last time she'd seen him. Her heart skipped a beat in her chest as she looked into his brown eyes, as she saw the dimples in his cheeks as he smiled at her.

'Yeah, you?' she replied trying to sound casual.

'Yeah, you know how it is?' he replied 'So you're still single then?' he asked her.

'Don't beat about the bush, Joey' she said rolling her eyes at him.

'What? I'm just checking. I don't want to have come all the way here to meet you only to have you tell me you're married with kids' he told her.

'I think we both know I don't have a great track record with relationships' she told him. 'The whole Jake thing kind of exploded in my face and it put me off getting involved with anyone for a while' she admitted to him.

'I heard about that' Joey told her 'I'm really sorry' he said. Lauren looked at him.

'Yeah I bet you are' she said shaking her head. 'And the words "I told you so" are on the tip of your tongue, admit it'

'Maybe, but is that what you really need to hear right now?' he asked her as he reached across the table and helped himself to some sugar. Lauren watched as he ripped the sachet and poured the sugar into his cup, stirring it before taking a sip.

'No. I got that from mum and dad. Dad was furious and threatened to go after Jake which is a little hypocritical too, if you ask me and mum…read me the riot act and threatened to send me to a convent' she confessed 'although I don't know what good that would've done' she frowned.

Joey smiled at her confusion 'It's a convent full of nuns. I think she was considering getting you to become one'

'Oh…well that makes a lot more sense now' she admitted to him. 'Thanks' Joey laughed softly. 'Lucy and Whitney were great though' she told him 'both of them were really supportive and understanding'

'That doesn't sound like Lucy' he said to her.

'Well Lucy Beale isn't the same girl you knew. She's married now and she has the most adorable little girl called Courtney. I'm her godmother, so is Whitney. Courtney says I'm the best godmother ever!' Lauren smiled proudly. 'I think I have a picture somewhere' she said and she picked up her phone and scrolled through the pictures 'Ah! Here' she said and she passed her phone to Joey.

'She is cute' Joey said with a smile. 'I have to admit I never expected Lucy Beale to be married in a million years. She doesn't strike me as the settling down type' he said as he handed her phone back to her.

'She wasn't until she meant Lee Carter. Ex-soldier. His family runs the Vic now'. She picked up her coffee and took a sip and then looked at Joey. 'I'm glad you came. I was worried you wouldn't' she admitted to him. 'So you're still single too, huh?' she asked him.

'Actually, no. I'm not' Joey replied and Lauren's heart froze. He reached across the table and took her hand in his 'well at least I hope I'm not leaving single' he told her. Lauren smiled at him.

'Counting your chickens aren't you?' she asked him softly, squeezing his hand.

'I hope so' he replied with a smile. He reached for his coffee with his free hand and took a drink.

'You look tired, Joey' she said softly.

'I am a little' he told her 'I haven't been sleeping well' he admitted to her. He licked his lips, 'Listen babe, there's something I need to tell you' he told her. The alarm on his mobile phone beeped and he let go of her hand and reached into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a couple of pill bottles and shook some pills into his hand. He took them with his coffee and tucked the bottles back into his jacket. 'Sorry' he said to her.

'What were those?' Lauren asked him.

'Anticonvulsants and steroids' he told her.

'Anticonvulsants? You don't have epilepsy' she said with a frown.

'No I don't and I haven't had a seizure since I started taking these' he said 'Listen, I'm going to give you the short version okay. I have an in operable skull base tumour and I have six months to live' he told her. Lauren stared at him.

'Ha ha very funny, Joey' she frowned at him 'you don't joke about something like that' she said angrily.

'I'm not joking. I'm being deadly serious' he said to her.

Lauren swallowed 'What?'

'I have an inoperable skull base tumour and I have six months to live. The anticonvulsants are to stop me from having seizures and the steroids are to try and slow down the growth rate of the tumour' he told her seriously. 'I suffer from headaches and nosebleeds and I don't sleep well' he told her. 'Are you going to say anything?' he asked her after five minutes of silence.

She licked her lips and swallowed 'I'm sorry' she told him.

Joey nodded his head 'everyone's sorry' he replied.

'I can't do this' Lauren shook her head and she got up, grabbed her coat and phone and ran out of the café.

Joey sat in the café feeling let down and disappointed at Lauren's reaction. He'd considered not telling her, not meeting her. But he needed her now more than he'd ever needed her. He wanted to spend the last four months of his life with the girl he loved. Sure, it sounded selfish when you thought about it, but he knew if their positions were reversed that he'd be there for Lauren without hesitation. He knew she'd been there for her mother when she had cancer, he also knew how much it'd taken out of Lauren keeping that secret. He didn't hate her for leaving, he could understand her reaction and he even knew her reasons. At least he gave her the choice. He looked at his watch and got up, leaving the café and headed home.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Joey let himself in the house and Sarah looked up as he came into the room. 'Hello, love. Did you have a good walk?'

'No not really' Joey shook his head and he sat down on the sofa 'I lied to you, mum. I didn't go for a walk. I went to meet someone'

Sarah licked her lips 'A female someone?' she asked him knowingly.

Joey nodded, pushing his hands into his jacket pockets. 'A special someone' he replied 'I told her about the tumour and she fled' he told her.

Sarah sighed 'I'm sorry, darling' Sarah told him.

'I half expected her to react the way that she did, but I think I expected her to want to stay more' he admitted to his mother. 'I wanted her to know…I didn't want her not to…' he trailed off and sniffed. 'I'm a little tired, I'm going to go lie down for a bit'

'I'll call you when dinner's ready' Sarah said. Joey got up and walked over to his mother and kissed her on top of her head and turned to the stairs. He heard the front door open and close and knew his sister was home.

'Look who I found outside!' she called as she came into the room. Joey's eyes widened in surprise as he saw Lauren come in behind her.

'Six months huh?' Lauren asked him.

Joey nodded his head 'Six months…well four now…' he trailed off

'Then we'd better make them the best four months ever' she told him and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. 'I love you, Joey Branning' she whispered against his neck.

Alice grinned at her mother as they watched the couple.

'I love you too, Lauren' Joey replied.

Sarah's eyes moved to Alice 'Lauren Branning?' she mouthed to her daughter. Alice nodded her head and grinned.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Since the day Lauren arrived at the Branning house some two months ago, she hadn't left. Sarah and Alice were more than happy to let Lauren stay as it was what Joey wanted…what he needed and Lauren became like a second daughter to Sarah, instead of a niece. Sarah was cooking cakes and pies in the kitchen and the three younger inhabitants of the Branning household were now settled in the lounge, Joey was being "forced" to watch chick flicks, although he was actually enjoying them if he was being honest, not that he'd ever admit that to anyone…anyone other than his girlfriend, who was currently pressed up against him in the most delicious way.

He was currently being subjected to Dirty Dancing, one of Lauren's favourite films. The two of them were stretched out together on the sofa, whilst Alice was crammed into a small armchair. Every so often she could hear her brother and cousin share kisses, but mainly Lauren was focused on the film. Joey, however, was focused on his girlfriend. Watching her enjoying the film, seeing the emotions on her face as she watched the drama unfold on the screen. They'd just got to the bit in the film where Baby had gone to see Johnny after her father was mean to him. She'd asked Johnny to dance with her and they were currently doing just that.

Lauren shifted slightly on the sofa so she was laying on her back more and Joey was sort of half on top of her. Alice shifted her gaze to them as Joey bent his head and started to kiss and suck Lauren's neck.

Joey smiled as he watched the screen and when Baby's hand moved over Johnny's bum, he felt Lauren's hand move over his. He turned his head towards her and she raised her face to his and they kissed softly. Alice grew more and more uncomfortable as she heard the sounds of their kissing and the soft moans coming from them both. Glancing over at them she saw Lauren's hand on Joey's bum and one of Joey's hands disappearing under Lauren's t-shirt. Alice got up and crept through to the kitchen, where her mother had just finished cleaning up.

'I thought you were watching films with Lauren and Joey'

'I was, but I think they're about to christen the sofa' she told her mother with a faint blush on her cheeks 'and I'd rather not be in the room when that happens thanks very much'

Sarah blinked 'I'd rather they didn't christen my sofa at all' she told her daughter 'maybe I should go and have a word with them' she said looking at the door that led her into the lounge.

'Be my guest, but don't blame me if you see more of your son and niece than you ever wanted to' Alice told her.

Sarah thought about that for a few moments and then grabbed her purse off the side and she looked at Alice. 'How about we go to the pub for a couple of hours?' she asked her daughter. Alice blinked at her in surprise.

'What? You're just going to leave them in there…doing "it" on the sofa?'

'I don't know about you but I could drink a Gin and Tonic or three, come on, let's go' she linked her arm through Alice's and pulled her out of the back door of the house.

Joey smiled against Lauren's neck as he heard the distinctive click of the kitchen door shutting. He ground his erection against Lauren at the same time his hand slid underneath her bra. She groaned softly.

'Joey…' she whispered softly, her hand covered his 'your sister…your mum'

Joey smiled 'she left the room about five minutes ago and mum and Alice left the house a few seconds ago. We have the house to ourselves' he murmured against her neck 'and I want you' he told her huskily. He trailed his lips over her cheek, kissing the tip of her nose before his mouth closed over hers. His tongue duelling with hers.

'What about your blood pressure?' she said as Joey started removing her clothing 'what if you have a nose bleed?' she asked him.

'We don't need to worry about that, right now all the blood in my body had relocated elsewhere' he smiled down at her and she giggled.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

**Two months later….**

'Sarah! Sarah!' Lauren's screams and fists banging on her bedroom door woke the older woman, she flung back the covers and grabbed her robe, rushing the door. She opened it to see Lauren running back down the hallway to the bedroom she was sharing with her son. Sarah followed and pushed the door open and saw Joey was having another nosebleed. This one, however, was showing no signs of stopping. She could see the sheets and pillow were covered in blood, Lauren and Joey were covered in blood. She could see the fear in her son's eyes as he looked at her. She could also see he was very pale. Lauren was doing all she could to try and stem the bleeding but nothing was working, she could see the small balloons and pumps the consultant had given them the last time Joey went for a check-up.

'I think we need to call an ambulance' Lauren said to her, clearly distraught 'I can't stop it' tears were rolling down her niece's face.

'I think so too' Sarah said, she rushed back through to her bedroom as a sleepy Alice stepped out of her room.

'What's going on?' she asked scratching her face.

'Joey's having another nose bleed' Sarah said as she rushed into her bedroom and grabbed the phone she dialled 999 and waited. 'Yes, Ambulance please. 24 Reigate Street, Bexley**.** My son has a skull base tumour and he's having a severe nose bleed and we can't stop it. We've tried everything the consultant suggested' she listened for a few moments 'yes, this is the third nosebleed he's had today….No…it's inoperable…No, he was given six months to live nearly five months ago…' Sarah started to cry as she spoke to the operative on the phone. Alice walked into the room and she took the phone from her mother. Sarah listened as Alice reeled off the medication her son was taking.

Ten minutes later they could hear sirens blaring as the ambulance got closer to the house. Sarah rushed down the stairs to let them in.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren travelled in the back of the ambulance, and the neighbours next door, who'd been woken by the sirens and knew the circumstances kindly drove Sarah and Alice to the hospital. They found a distraught Lauren in the waiting room. Sarah rushed over to her 'they've taken him through to a room' she said to her 'I've told them Mr. Davidson is his consultant. He's not on shift and they're going to ring him and get him in'

'Okay, sweetheart' Sarah said 'He's in the best place now, they'll sort him out' she said to her niece, pulling her into her arms. She sobbed brokenly against her aunt. 'Hey now, come on' Sarah said 'where's the brave girl I've been getting to know?' she asked her softly.

'She's scared this is it' Lauren replied and she pulled back to look at Sarah 'I'm not ready…it's not enough time' she told her.

Sarah cupped her face in her hands, brushing her tears away gently 'I know darling, I know…but we need to be strong and brave for Joey…he's probably more terrified than we are' she told her.

Lauren nodded her head 'I know. You're right. I'm sorry' she looked down.

'No…don't be sorry…that's not what I meant…when he's….we'll all sit down and have a big crying session together' she told her. Lauren nodded her head, giving her aunt a sad smile.

'I grabbed you some clean clothes' Alice said to Lauren giving her a carrier bag.

'Thanks Al' Lauren told her. 'I'll be a few minutes….you'll get me if…' she trailed off unable to say the words.

'Of course' Sarah nodded her head.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

An agonising hour and a half later Joey's consultant came to find them. 'Hello Lauren, Sarah, Alice' he said as he saw them all seated in the waiting area. He crouched down in front of them.

'Is he okay?' Sarah voiced the question Lauren and Alice were too scared to ask.

'Yes' he nodded his head 'I've just been in to see him. He's doing much better. We've managed to stop the bleeding for now' he told them 'I want you all to be prepared for what he looks like when you go in to see him. The tumour has increased in size and shifted slightly which caused some tearing of the blood vessels around it, which caused the nosebleeds. The steroids we've been giving him to try to reduce the speed of growth of the tumour thins his blood and this explains the increased flow of blood. He has visible swelling on his left eye. The tumour is pressing against the back of his eyeball and it's protruding a little bit. He's lost a little bit of vision in this eye, which is what we would expect' he told them. 'We'll be stopping his steroids and he's on drugs to help his blood coagulate, which should reduce his nose bleeds. We've also given him some pretty strong painkillers, so he's a little bit dopey at the moment'

'Can we see him?' Lauren asked quietly.

'Of course you can' Mr. Davidson nodded his head. 'Follow me' he said standing up. The three of them stood up too, following the consultant.

'When can Joey come home?' Alice asked suddenly.

Mr. Davidson stopped and he turned to look at them all, he knew there was no easy way to tell them this. 'We'd like for Joey to stay in hospital now. We can make him comfortable and make sure he's not in any undue stress' he told them. Alice and Sarah clamped their hands over their mouths as they took in what they were being told and more importantly what he wasn't saying. 'I'm very sorry…' he trailed off.

Lauren took a deep breath 'Does he know?' she asked him.

'Joey asked me to be 100% honest with him at all times. No sugar-coating' he told her.

Lauren smiled nodding her head 'That sounds like Joey' she said. 'Are we okay going into all together?' she asked him.

'Of course' he told her softly.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

After a few hours, Joey had persuaded his mother and sister to go home and get some sleep. He'd asked Lauren to leave the room as he spoke to them and she knew he was saying goodbye to them both. Her suspicions were confirmed as they both came out crying softly. They looked at Lauren and hugged her tightly 'Are you sure you'll be okay here by yourself?' Sarah asked her. Lauren nodded her head.

'I'll be fine. This is what Joey wants' she said softly.

'We'll be back in a few hours, okay? I'll call Max, let him know it's…' Sarah trailed off. Lauren nodded her head and she watched them get into the lift.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren turned to the door and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to compose herself before she walked into the room.

She closed the door behind her 'Hi, babe' he said softly. 'Have mum and Al gone?' he asked him.

'Yep' she replied with a nod of her head as she walked towards the bed. 'They said they'd be back in a couple of hours' she told him. Lauren sat down on the edge of his bed and took his hand in hers. He gripped it tightly in his.

'I'm scared' he whispered to her, his eyes wide with fear.

'There's nothing to be afraid of, baby' Lauren raised her eyes to his. 'You look out for my brother, Bradley. He'll show you the ropes' she told him.

'I've never seen a picture of your brother' he reminded her.

'Oh, well that's easy. He'll be the big tall ginger bloke at the front waiting for you. Think a bit like Max, but younger and with hair' she told him with a smile, Joey laughed and then choked. Lauren get up and poured him some water, holding the cup to his lips as he took a couple of sips.

'Great description. Thanks, babe, I know who to look out for now' he told her softly. 'Will you lie down with me?' he asked her as she put the cup back on the side. He eased himself closer to the edge of the bed, making room for Lauren. She got onto the bed carefully and propped herself up on her elbow so she could look at him.

'How do you feel? Are you in pain?' Lauren asked him quietly.

'A little, but I've had worse' he told her 'How are you?' he asked her. Lauren looked down as she felt tears sting the back of her eyes at his simple question. She tried to fight them back but she couldn't stop the ones that had already escaped. 'Hey, now where's my brave girl gone?' he asked her softly.

'I'm not feeling very brave right now' she admitted to him 'I'm angry' she told him. She dashed her tears away with one hand.

'With me?' Joey asked her, worry crossed his face.

'No, Joey. Not with you' she shook her head 'I'm glad you told me' she told him sincerely 'I'd have been so pissed off with you if you'd hidden this from me, used it as a reason for us to not be together. If you'd made yourself believe that you were protecting me' she told him 'I'm so glad you told me the truth' she stared deeply into his eyes 'we've had the best four months together' she whispered softly 'I'm not angry with you…I'm angry with the stupid tumour and the stupid doctors who can't do anything about it'

Joey nodded his head 'the tumour is pretty stupid' he agreed with her 'a real headache' he joked. Lauren looked at him, clearly appalled by his inappropriate joking

'That's not funny' she said, shaking her head.

'It's kind of funny' he told her.

'No it isn't' she frowned at him 'Just like it wasn't funny when you told your mum and Alice that the songs you wanted to have played at your cremation were, The Doors: Light My Fire, Prodigy: Firestarter and Bruce Springsteen's I'm On Fire' she scolded him. Joey bit back a smile, Lauren glared at him

' . !' she told him raising her voice. Joey couldn't contain his laughter and soon Lauren had joined in too.

'I've thought of some more' Joey told her in between giggles. 'Take That: Relight My Fire. Elvis: Burning Love' he reeled a couple of them off. 'Kings Of Leon: Sex on Fire'

'Burn, Baby, Burn' Lauren deadpanned. Joey's eyes widened slightly and he erupted into a fit of laughter. 'Sssh…you'll have the nurse come in here, wondering what all the noise is about' she hissed at him. Joey nodded his head and he tried to calm himself down.

'Come on…you have to admit that's funny' he told her seriously 'Even just a little bit'

Lauren sighed and nodded her head 'yes, okay. It's a little bit funny' she told him. She licked her lips as her eyes darted to the monitor he was attached to. His heart rate had dropped slightly.

'Hey' Joey said, reaching out a shaking hand to touch her face 'you keep looking at me' he told her. Lauren licked her lips and moved her gaze to him. Lauren could see the concentration on his face and he willed his fingers to do what he wanted them to do. Moments later she felt her hair being tucked behind her ear, she smiled at Joey.

'I love you too' she whispered to him. Joey swallowed and he closed his eyes, she saw him grimace in pain. Lauren took a deep breath. 'Why don't you let me go get the nurse, hey?' she asked him softly, already knowing the answer to the question.

'I'm…okay' he forced the words out. Lauren licked her lips and she moved forward and kissed him softly. 'Just talk to me' he whispered.

'Okay, so…I thought that next weekend you and I could go and visit that big car museum, the one that has all those classic cars?' she said to him, trying to distract him from his pain and fear. 'We can stop off at the restaurant you were telling me about, try one of those steaks…' Joey smiled as he listened to Lauren telling him about their future. He knew what she was doing and he was grateful for it.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

An hour passed and every few minutes, Lauren would wipe Joey's nose with the gauze pads the nurses had left for her. Joey had closed his eyes and was dozing. She rested her head on his shoulder, watching the rise and fall of his chest. 'Lauren?' she heard Joey's frightened voice whisper her name. She raised her head to look at him.

'Yes, baby?' she replied, reaching out to wipe away the tears at the corner of his eye.

'I…I…d…don't…want...t…to…leave…you' he said brokenly.

Lauren smiled at him, shaking her head gently 'you won't be leaving me, Joey' she told him and she picked up his hand in hers and placed it over her heart 'because you are right here. And that's where you'll always be' she told him. 'I love you so much Joseph Branning, I have never loved anyone as much as I love you and I'll never ever love anyone else this much' she told him softly. Joey smiled at her, she placed his hand against her cheek, closing her eyes as she tried to imprint in her mind the way this felt…having him touching her. She opened her eyes to see Joey staring at her. As if he was trying to memorise her face.

'L…L…Love…you…L…Lauren…B…Branning' Joey whispered to her.

Lauren beamed at him, despite the fact she felt like bawling her eyes out. Joey had asked her to be brave for him and be brave she was going to be…for him. Lauren stroked his face with her fingers and leant forward and kissed him, a series of small soft kisses. Pulling back she looked at the man she loved with all her heart. 'It's okay' she nodded her head gently 'you don't have to worry about anything. We're all be going to be okay' she promised him. 'Close your eyes' she whispered.

Joey shook his head 'I… want… the… last… thing… I…see...to… be… you' he told her as a tear rolled down his cheek, Lauren caught it with her fingers. She and Joey gazed at each other. She could hear his heart monitor slowing down in the background.

'Bye, babe' Joey said so quietly Lauren almost didn't hear him.

'Bye, Joey' she whispered, unable to hold her tears back any longer. They rolled down her cheeks as she watched the life ebb out of her soul mate. His heart monitor beeped another three times and then there was nothing but a high pitched wail.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren opened the door and stepped out of the room, the consultant looked up at her. She nodded her head once. She stood blindly in the middle of the floor as people moved around her. She didn't know what to do now. She knew Sarah and Alice would want to know. She walked to the payphone, reaching in her pocket for money she knew she didn't have.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Max watched as his ashen-faced daughter walked out of the room and nodded to man who'd been hovering outside the room Joey was in. He watched as she just stood in the middle of the floor, silent tears rolling down her face as nurses and doctors moved around her instead of asking her to move out of their way. He saw Lauren look at the payphone on the wall and she walked over to it. Her hand dipping into her pocket for money.

'Sweetheart' he said softly, letting her know he was there. He watched as she stared at him, then he saw it register on her face as she recognised him.

'Daddy?' she whispered softly, and then she was running across the room, flinging herself into his open arms 'he's gone, daddy, Joey's gone…' she sobbed loudly.

'It's okay, Lauren, Daddy's here' he whispered, holding her tightly.

**AN: Thanks for your reviews for this chapter. Well that's five chapters down and five times Joey has died…he's changed his decisions but the end result is still the same…so what is he not doing? I wonder….Back tomorrow. Leave me a review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Okay…so there was a little bit of a change there. Joey told Lauren the truth and she chose to stick by his side albeit after a little wobble. So what happens in this chapter? **

**Chapter Five**

The table was silent. Lauren was staring at Joey, her eyes widening as his last words lingered in the air. 'Six months?' she whispered. He didn't reply but he didn't tell her she was wrong either. 'Is there nothing they can do?'

'No, babe. They've done loads of tests… poked and prodded me more than I'd like them to do… and it's not if… but when…'

Lauren felt breathless, her throat was tightening and she was fighting to remain calm. She pushed herself to her feet, 'I just need a minute.' She whispered.

His hand caught hers as she walked past him, 'you're coming back, right?' he asked, pain in his voice. She nodded, swallowing her own emotions slightly as she saw the hurt and anguish.

'I'll be back… I just need a couple of minutes…" she told him. He released her arm and walked out of the café. She walked past the window, glancing inside and seeing him watching her through the glass. Once she was out of sight she slumped against the wall at the side of the building. Her breathing was much faster now and she could no longer fight the tears, her whole body shaking as she started to cry. A few minutes later she felt two strong arms wrap around her body and they pulled her against his sturdy chest, his hands brushing up and down her back as he comforted her. It was some time before she was calm enough to talk, 'This is wrong…' she whispered.

He tensed. 'What is?'

'You shouldn't be comforting me… I'm not the one who's dying, am I?' she said, pulling away from his chest and looking up at his face. She clapped her hand over her mouth, 'Sorry,' she mumbled through it.

'Babe, we're all dying… I'm just coming off at an earlier exit than most…' he said grimly.

She stared at him in wonder, 'How can you be so calm about this?' she asked him in shock.

'I'm not, Lauren… I'm really not…' he breathed. He closed his eyes and she watched as she saw the strength on his face flicker slightly. He opened his eyes, staring into hers and she could see the one emotion she hoped to never see in them. Fear. She reached up and stroked his cheek gently, and then, without thinking, she reached up and kissed him, surprising them both.

She pulled away when the kiss ended, swallowing nervously as she realised what she'd done. She stared into Joey's eyes nervously before clearing her throat and looking down. 'I'm sorry…I don't...I shouldn't have…' she trailed off as she stumbled over her words. Joey licked his lips, taking her hands in his and squeezing gently.

'It's okay, I didn't mind' he told her with a smirk. Lauren rolled her eyes at him. 'Look, why don't you come back to mine and we can talk some more, somewhere private' he told her. 'Mum and Alice will be at work so we won't be interrupted' Lauren looked at him and then nodded her head.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

'Okay, I don't think what just happened was talking and this definitely isn't talking either' Lauren said a little breathlessly as Joey's lips moved along her neck.

'I don't know, I think we both understood what was being said' he replied with a smile and he pulled back to look at her, he pushed her hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear.

Lauren looked up at him and nodded her head 'Yeah, I guess we did' she replied softly 'Six months huh?' she asked him.

'That's what the doctor said' Joey nodded his head.

'Have you been to see anyone else?' she asked him as her fingers brushed over his forehead and nose, knowing that underneath was the tumour that was going to kill him.

'No' Joey shook his head 'what's the point?' he asked her and he moved off her and rolled onto his back.

Lauren frowned 'what's the point?' she echoed and she sat up, clutching the sheet to her naked chest as she turned to look down at him 'the point is that there are other doctor's out there that might have a different opinion as to what treatment is available' she told him with a frown. 'You have to try, Joey. You've got nothing to lose'

Joey looked up at her 'I don't know…the doctor I saw seemed pretty final' he told her.

'What if there is someone out there that could help? Are you really not willing to find out?' Lauren asked him softly.

'I just want to enjoy the time that I have left…with the people I love…not being poked and prodded by other doctors. Getting my hopes up only to have them crushed again.' He told her softly 'Maybe that makes me selfish, I don't know' he said shaking his head 'but I don't want to put Alice and mum through that either' he reached up and cupped her face in his hand 'or you' he licked his lips 'you … you will be around, won't you?' he asked her a little anxiously.

Lauren swallowed and she nodded her head 'of course' she told him. 'You know we should get up and get dressed before Alice and your mum gets back' she said, she pulled away from him and climbed out of bed and began to gather up her clothes. Joey watched her dress and he climbed out of bed, pulling on his boxers, then his jeans.

'Do you regret what we just did?' he asked her.

Lauren pulled her dress on and turned to look at him. 'Do you?' she turned the question back to him.

'No' he shook his head without hesitation. Lauren shook her head and walked over to him, kissing him softly.

'Me either' she whispered. Joey pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.

'I'm so glad you're here' he murmured softly. Lauren wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly.

'I'm not going anywhere' she told him firmly. 'I'm here to stay'

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

True to her word, Lauren hadn't left the house for more than a couple of hours to go and pick up some of her clothes. She had moved into the house, sharing Joey's room.

Alice had been both surprised and pleased to see her and had burst into tears. Sarah had been pleased to finally meet the girl that had captured Joey's heart and she was more than happy for Lauren to move in.

One afternoon about a month after Lauren had moved in she was sitting in the house alone. Sarah and Alice were at work and Joey had gone to see his mates and Lauren didn't want to interrupt his time with them, so she'd remained at home. She'd been watching trashy talk shows on TV but had got bored and went into the kitchen to find something to eat. She looked through a couple of cupboards and found nothing she fancied. Opening the third she paused as she stared at what she had discovered inside.

A bottle of vodka.

Her mouth watered as she looked at the bottle. It'd been a long time since she'd had a drink, a long time since she'd wanted one. But now…now she could practically taste it. She could remember how it felt to have that first mouthful…the way it felt when she swallowed it. How it warmed her…how it seemed to calm her, help her cope with things she had no control over. How it made her numb inside. How it helped her deal with her mother's cancer and the prospect that her mother could die. A sudden thought hit her which surprised and shocked her.

She missed it. She missed it a lot.

She opened the bottle and reached for a glass, swallowing as she poured some into the glass. She could almost taste it. She put the bottle down on the counter, and played with the top as she stared at the glass. She'd been sober for five years and 6 months. Two thousand and seven days…nearly eight. One sip wasn't going to hurt. Right? She put the bottle top on the counter and picked up the glass, swirling the clear liquid around the glass and she raised it to her lips, closing her eyes as she felt the liquid touch her lips.

'Lauren?' she heard Sarah's worried voice from the doorway.

Lauren jumped. The glass slipping through her fingers and crashing to the floor, shattering at her feet. She turned to look at Sarah, she hadn't heard anyone come in. 'I…I'm sorry' she stammered and she fled out of the room, almost pushing Sarah over in her haste to flee.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Fifteen minutes later a worried Sarah made her way up the stairs, she paused outside the room before raising her hand and knocking on the door. She opened the door and went inside and found Lauren standing at the window staring out.

'Lauren?' she said softly.

'I'm sorry about the mess, I'll come down and clean it up in a second' Lauren told her.

'It's already taken care of, sweetheart' Sarah replied. 'Do you want to talk about it?' she asked her. Lauren didn't reply. 'I know this must be hard for you…'

'Hard for me?' Lauren spun round to look at her 'I'm not the one who was given six months to live' she replied, tears were streaming down her face.

'People deal with things in different ways' Sarah told her, coming into the room and closing the door behind her. 'Joey's…Joey' she shrugged and she sat down on the bed. She looked around seeing the little changes Lauren had made to the room since she'd moved in. 'He's always bottled things up...hardly ever shows his emotions. He's much like Derek in a lot of ways' Lauren frowned at her 'I didn't mean that the way it sounded' she said with a small smile 'growing up with Derek for a father, Joey learnt very quickly that boys don't show any emotions' she explained to her. 'When he was four years old. He fell off his tricycle outside the house. He cut his chin and his hands and knees. He came running into the house and he was literally covered in blood. I was beside myself…Derek was too' she said as she remember 'but Joey…Joey just stood there, he wasn't even crying. He simply said that he'd fallen over and hurt himself. Derek told him he was proud off him for not crying…told him he was a man now' she said bitterly. 'Joey had to have four stitches in his chin and he didn't even cry when the doctors injected the wound before they could stitch it' she said 'He was four years old and he'd already learnt to hide his emotions from his father…his weakness as Derek called them' Sarah said and she looked down at her hands 'of course when Derek wasn't there I used to tell Joey that it was okay to cry and show his emotions…'she sighed 'when he came back from Walford…I could tell there was something bothering him…it took me a good three months to get it out of him and then one night when we were eating dinner, he told me about you' she told him. 'The way he was talking about you I could tell you were very important to him. He said he felt as though he'd let you down…that he walked away from you when you needed him the most. He said Max and Tanya and even Abi kept him away from seeing you when you were in the hospital and when you came out of hospital…then you disappeared one night. He told me no one would tell him what was going on. Tanya just told him you were getting help and he needed to leave you alone to get better. He got the impression that your mum blamed him somehow'

Lauren laughed through her tears 'mum and dad blamed everyone but themselves' she replied.

'How long have you been sober?' Sarah asked her.

'Five years six months' Lauren replied.

'That's a long time' Sarah said 'and you've not relapsed?'

'When the doctors tell you that one more drink could kill you…' she trailed off 'I tried to drink, when I came out of hospital…but no one would serve me, mum made sure of that' she told her, walking over to the bed and sitting beside her. 'Mum and dad thought it was just that simple, that I could stop drinking…but the withdrawal was awful. I couldn't stop shaking or being sick…I lost my appetite…' she trailed off 'all I wanted was one more drink and then I was going to stop…just one more drink and I'd stop on my terms…' she frowned and looked down at her hands 'mum and dad would drink wine at dinner and I could practically taste it…I don't know how I managed to stop myself from snatching the bottle off the table and drinking the whole thing…' she sighed. 'I can see why mum and dad blamed Joey...but it wasn't his fault…I was already drinking way more than I should've been before he came along. I know Joey blamed himself too' she looked up at Sarah 'but it wasn't his fault' Lauren licked her lips 'he told me once he was worried about my drinking and I promised I would stop for him and I did.' She smiled at Sarah as she remembered 'it was so hard but I did for him…for us…and then Lucy spiked my drinks and I ended up getting drunk and he broke up with me. And my whole world fell apart and there didn't seem to be any reason not to drink anymore'

'Joey told me what Lucy did…all because she was jealous and wanted him back'

'That's what Lucy was like back then. She's changed now, she's married and she's happy' Lauren told her. 'We talked things through and she's my best friend now…she knows about Joey' Lauren said 'she told me she'd be there whenever I needed her. She was worried about me drinking again too' she admitted.

'What made you want to drink today?' Sarah asked.

Lauren looked down again 'Did Joey ever tell you mum had cancer?' Lauren asked her.

'Yes' she nodded her head 'he did' Lauren looked up surprised.

'I was the only one she told. Mum and dad had split up again and he'd moved out and she made me keep it a secret. I went to all the hospital appointments with her, listened to what the consultant told her. I held her hand through chemotherapy and I held her hair for her when she was sick afterwards…I did everything I could to help her. I lied to my friends, to my family and she'd get so angry with the world…with me. Some of the things she said to me…' Lauren swiped at the tears that ran down her cheeks with the back of her hand and she sniffed. 'She apologised afterwards though, said she didn't mean them but…there was no one I could turn to, that I could talk to…so I turned to my friend, vodka. I thought mum was going to die…she was so ill and vodka was the only thing that made me feel better, that made me strong, that stopped me from wanting to scream… from falling apart and losing it completely…' she said softly 'Joey and I wasted too much time' she told Sarah 'And then when we find our way back to each other I find out I only have six months with him' she said 'Six months to try and cram in a lifetime we should've had together' she closed her eyes 'I love him so much…I've never loved anyone like I love Joey…and it's not fair…it's not fair that he's dying and there's nothing I can do about it…and I want scream and cry and I know I can't. I hadn't really thought about drinking. I wasn't looking for any…I was hungry. I was looking for something to eat and I found the vodka. And I wanted it' she admitted her 'I needed the strength it would give me'

'But your sobriety…'

'In that moment, holding the glass in my hand. My sobriety didn't mean anything to me' she told her. 'I just…I just wanted the vodka' she sighed and closed her eyes, covering her face with her hands. 'I don't want him to die' she sobbed 'I can't lose him again…'

'Oh sweetheart' Sarah wrapped her arms around Lauren, hugging her tightly as she sobbed against her. 'I know how hard it is… all I want to do is to curl up in a ball and die' she told her 'but I know that won't help Joey or Alice...Or you' she whispered 'we have to be strong for Joey…he may be pretending he's brave and that he's accepted this but I know deep down inside he hasn't. He's terrified. He doesn't want to leave you. Or me…or Alice' she rocked Lauren gently in her arms 'he's a frightened little boy at heart' she said softly. 'And you're not dealing with this alone. You have me and Alice and any time you want to scream you come and find me and we'll do it together' she told her with a smile, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 'And I think you need to talk to Joey, tell him what almost happened this afternoon' she said. Lauren nodded her head, pulling back to look at Sarah.

'Thank you' she whispered.

Sarah smiled 'You're welcome sweetheart'

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Joey noticed Lauren was quiet throughout dinner and he caught his mother looking at her every so often. When they'd finished eating Lauren got up and helped his mother carry the plates into the kitchen. After they'd finished Lauren leant up against the unit. 'I'll take Alice out so you have the house to yourselves' she told her.

Lauren nodded her head 'thanks'

'And you tell Joey everything' she told her 'promise me?'

'I promise' Lauren nodded her head, their eyes met and Sarah smiled at her.

'Joey will understand, darling' she told her, giving her hand a squeeze as she walked passed her. The two of them walked out of the room. 'Are you ready, Alice?' Sarah asked her.

'Yep' Alice nodded her head, pulling on her coat.

'Where are you two going?' Joey frowned at them both.

'Cinema' Sarah said with a smile 'you and Lauren raved about how good Avatar 4 was that Alice and I are going to see it' she told him.

'It's a great film mum. You and Alice are going to love it' Joey replied with a smile.

'I'm sure we will' she smiled 'we'll see you later' Sarah looked at Lauren for a few moments and then she and Alice left.

Lauren licked her lips 'do you want a coffee?' she asked Joey.

'Please' he nodded his head. Lauren smiled and went into the kitchen to make them both a coffee. She knew she was just putting off the inevitable but it was instinct. She had to have a serious conversation with Joey and she wasn't sure how the conversation was going to go or how Joey was going to react to it. She hoped it'd work out the way she wanted it to and he'd understand and not be angry with her. Coffee made, she picked up the cups and she carried them through to the lounge, putting them down on the coffee table and she sat down next to Joey.

'We need to talk' she said to him softly.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

'Since when did "we need to talk" end up being a euphemism for lets have sex?' Lauren asked him.

'I don't know' Joey said 'but I'm definitely not complaining' he admitted to her as his lips trailed over her throat. 'But sex with you is amazing' he told her and he pulled back to look at her 'the best I've ever had' he said.

Lauren looked up at him, she knew Joey had been with a lot of girls…including Lucy and Whitney and Janine. So for him to tell her she was the best…was saying something. Lauren licked her lips. 'I'm not sure whether or not to be flattered or slightly insulted' she told him honestly.

'Why would you be insulted?' he asked her with a frown not understanding her train of thought.

'It just reminds me of all the girls you've slept with…including girls from Walford….' She trailed off.

'I love you.' Joey told her 'I've always loved you. I'll love you until I die' he said softly.

'Well that's only another four months so….' She looked down.

'Hey…' Joey raised her chin with his fingers so she was looking at him. 'I'll love you…always' he told her softly.

'Not enough to stay with me' she replied.

'That's not fair, Lauren' Joey frowned at her 'do you think I don't want to?' he asked her 'do you think I want to die?' he shook his head 'I don't. There are so many things I want to do…that I haven't experienced…things I'll never experience' he trailed off as he moved off her and lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. 'You think I'm not scared?' he asked her 'I'm terrified…I'm scared every time I fall asleep that I won't wake up again. That my life will finish while I'm sleeping, when I'm holding you in my arms' he told her softly. 'I don't want to leave mum or Al… not after everything she's been through, not when she needs me' he looked at her 'and most of all I don't want to leave you' he told her and his eyes filled with tears 'I love you so much, Lauren…I look at you and I see the future we could have, our kids running around…little girls who look just like you, little boys who are a mini me and I want it. I want it so badly and I know that I can't have it' he shook his head.

'Joey…' Lauren whispered as she watched a tear roll down his cheek. She reached out and brushed it away with her thumb, pressing her lips to his. 'I love you too, Joey. You know that' she told him softly 'I've always loved you from the very first time I saw you and how I feel for you is never ever going to change' she whispered to him 'I'm scared, Joey' she admitted to him 'I'm scared for you…for me…what will happen to me when you die…how will I go on without you…and I know that's really selfish…'

'No, it isn't' he told her softly 'come here' she moved so she was lying next to him her head on his chest as his fingers combed through her hair gently. 'I've been thinking about that too' he told her softly 'about your life, your future without me' he told her 'and I want you to promise me that…'

'If you're about to make me promise that I'll find someone else and fall in love again and have lots of babies one of which is named Joey I'm going to punch you in the face' she told him 'I don't want anyone else…I want you' she told him 'Always' her voice was thick with tears.

Joey licked his lips 'I was going to make you promise me that you'd live a long celibate life and buy lots of cats' he told her with a smile as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head 'you can name one of the cats Joey too if you'd like'

Lauren looked up at him and giggled 'you weren't going to say that' she said to him. Joey smiled, reaching out to brush away her tears.

'No. You're right I wasn't' he shook his head 'Of course I want you to be happy…get married and have children…even if it's with someone else. It'd be selfish of me to want you to mourn for me forever, no matter how much I might want you to' he admitted to her 'you're a beautiful woman, Lauren, you deserve a happy ever after'

'So do you, Joey' she whispered.

'I've got it, babe. This is my happy ever after' he told her with a sad smile 'being here with you.' The two of them gazed at each other and Lauren moved forward and kissed him again, her tongue pushing into his mouth. Joey groaned as she shifted in the bed, straddling him. He sat up, pulling her closer to him, as they kissed each other hungrily. Joey broke the kiss and he moved them so she was beneath him.

'I nearly drank today' she told him softly.

'What?' Joey whispered in surprise.

'I haven't had a drink for 2007 days' Lauren continued 'Your mum walked in just as I'd decided to take a sip…' she frowned 'for a split second I wanted to drink so badly…' she said softly.

'Because of me?' he frowned at her and he started to pull away from her but Lauren held him in place.

She shook her head 'because of me' she told him 'because I was all alone in the house and my mind was wandering and it felt as though I was all alone in this…I was going to lose you and there was nothing I could do about it…when mum was sick the only thing that made me feel better was vodka…and I thought I needed that today…but I was wrong' she shook her head 'I just need you'

'You have me' he told her softly. 'I'm right here, babe'

'I know' she nodded her head, stroking his cheek with her hand. 'Make love to me, Joey' she whispered. Joey bent his head, kissing her softly.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Three months later, Joey had been admitted to hospital after he'd had a severe headache that had reduced to him a quivering pile of pain on the floor. When the headache passed he'd discovered he'd lost his sight in one eye.

Lauren was perched on the edge of his bed and he looked up at her. 'There was something I wanted to ask you' he said, licking his lips nervously. 'I know this is really bad timing' she told her 'I don't want you to say yes because you feel you should' he told her softly 'I want you to say yes because it's what you want too. And it's okay if it's not what you want, I mean it won't change anything between us. It won't change the way I feel about you' he told her.

Lauren licked her lips 'Joey, you're not making any sense' she shook her head 'you know you can ask me anything you want to, I'll be honest with you, you know that'

Joey smiled, 'I know' he nodded. He took a deep breath and looked down at her hand, his thumb brushing gently over the skin on the back of her hand. 'I love you, Lauren. So much and you know the past 4 months have been incredible, better than I ever imagined they could be' he told her softly. 'I know I shouldn't be asking you this now, it's not fair on you…but there's something that I want from you. More than anything in the world I want to be your husband, even if it is only for a short time' he told her 'I want you to be my wife' he said, looking up at her. 'Will you marry me?'

Lauren blinked at him and Joey watched as her face lit up with the biggest and brightest smile he'd ever seen and she nodded her head. 'Yes' she told him 'yes, I'll marry you'

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren rushed into the room some twenty minutes later, Joey looked at her expectantly 'Well?' he asked her.

'It's all set for an hour's time' she told him 'All I need to do now is get a few things ready and we're good to go'

'Yeah?' he asked her and she nodded her head with a smile.

'Yeah. I've spoken to mum and dad and Abi and they're getting a few things for us from home and Alice and Sarah are on the flowers and rings. So all we have to do is wait for them to get here and then we need to get ready.'

'I think I'm going to keep my pyjama's on' he told her 'they're really comfortable, do you mind?' he asked her. Lauren smiled and shook her head.

'Of course not, babe' she told him. 'I happen to like you in these pyjama's' she smiled and reached forward to give him a kiss. 'When dad gets here, he's going to stay here and keep you company okay?' Joey nodded his head.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

45 minutes later and Lauren was finally ready and she looked at Joey's mother 'What do you think?' she asked her 'Do you think he'll approve?'

'Yes' she smiled at her soon to be daughter-in-law 'he'll most definitely approve'

'Well, we'd better not keep him waiting any longer' Lauren said with a smile. The five women walked out of the bathroom that had been used as a makeshift bridal changing room and headed towards Joey's room.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

They turned the corner of the corridor and saw Max and the doctor come out of Joey's room. 'Where's the Chaplain?' Lauren asked in a whisper.

'I'm sure he's in the room with Joey, giving him some words of wisdom as his last night as a single man' Tanya squeezed Lauren's shoulder gently.

Sarah frowned and she walked ahead of the group and spoke briefly to Max and the doctor and then went into the room.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren looked at Sarah expectantly as she came out of Joey's room. 'Is he ready?' Lauren asked her excitedly. When Sarah didn't reply, Lauren pretended to frown angrily 'he better not have changed his mind' she joked and she laughed. The people around her laughed too, all except for Max and Sarah. Lauren swallowed. The smile fading from her face. 'What's wrong?' she asked her.

Sarah walked over to Lauren and took her hands in hers 'you look so beautiful, Lauren' she told her softly.

'Thank you' Lauren said, swallowing nervously.

'I'm sorry' Sarah said.

Lauren's happiness deflated 'he did change his mind about marrying me?' she whispered.

Sarah shook her head 'I'm sorry, sweetheart, Joey…Joey died ten minutes ago' she told her.

Lauren blinked at her as she heard the gasps from her family behind her. Sarah watched the emotions cross Lauren's face 'What? No…No…he didn't' she shook her head as the tears started to fall down her cheeks. 'I want to see him…' she looked up at Sarah 'please?'

Sarah nodded her head 'I'll come in with you' she said leading Lauren towards the door.

'I want to go in by myself please' she looked up at Joey's mother.

'Okay, darling' Sarah nodded her head 'I'll be right outside the door if you need me'

Lauren nodded her head and she opened the door and stepped inside, closing the door behind her before she turned to look at Joey. If she didn't know any better, she would've thought he was sleeping. She walked slowly over to him, watching him for any signs of life, wishing he would breathe and his chest would rise and fall or his eyes would flicker as he dreamed. She stood by his side and reached out and touched his hand. He was still warm, she slid her hand into his, squeezing gently.

'You could've just said you'd changed your mind about marrying me. Dying to get out of it was a little bit over the top…I got all pretty….' she trailed off and sucked in a breath 'what am I saying? That's not even funny' she whispered as she sat down on the bed next to him. She looked at the man she'd been about to marry. 'I love you so much, Joseph Branning and I promise you I'll never ever love anyone else as much as I love you' she told him 'I'm never going to forget you or how much you loved me. No one has ever been loved as much as I have. I just wish we'd had more time…we wasted so much…and now…and now…' she broke down into tears 'and now you're gone…I don't know how to live without you anymore, Joey…I need you…please Joey….you can't leave me…please…' she lay her head on his chest as she cried brokenly.

**AN: Thank you for all your reviews for this story. So…that was a little sad right? I cried buckets when I wrote this and 74crazychick cried buckets when she read it and again when she edited it for me… So things changed a little there but still the end conclusion was still the same…what's missing? What needs to happen? Leave me a review. Back tomorrow xx. **


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Thank you for all your reviews for this story. More decisions were made but the end result was still the same…what's missing? **

**Chapter Six**

Joey looked at his watch again. It was 12:45pm. He had to face facts Lauren wasn't coming. He sighed, he'd finish this coffee and he'd go. He was feeling sorry for himself about being stood up and was oblivious to everyone and everything around him. He physically jumped when another cup of coffee was pushed towards his.

'This seat is taken' he growled as he looked up at the owner. He realised he was looking up into a pair of familiar brown eyes. 'Lauren?' he frowned.

'Oh, I'm sorry' she replied and narrowed her eyes at him 'Exactly how many girls did you arrange to meet here today?' she asked him as Joey stood up and pulled her into his arms, surprising her. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him back.

'Oh my god! It's so good to see you, babe' he said burying his face in her hair.

'It's good to see you too' Lauren replied as Joey released her. He moved to the chair next to the one he was sitting in and pulled her down next to him. 'I'm sorry I'm late, I had a job interview and it took longer than I expected, I thought I was going miss you!'

'Job interview?' he asked her 'where?'

'There's a graphic design company just past the hospital' she told him.

'How did you do?' he licked his lips and took a sip of his coffee.

'I've no idea' she told him 'I think they knew my mind was elsewhere so… I don't think I got it' she shook her head.

'When do you find out?' he asked her.

'I don't know, I wasn't really listening' she said with a sheepish grin. She reached for some sugar and stirred some into her cup before taking a sip.

'It's going to be a long commute from Walford, if you do get it' He looked up at her, studying her face, drinking in the sight of her.

'Yeah I guess it will be a long commute' she nodded her head. 'If I get it I might have to consider moving a bit closer' she said.

'You could move in with me' he said, his eyes sparkling at the prospect of having Lauren in his life again.

'And I'm sure your wife or girlfriend would love having your ex move in' she smiled at him.

'That sounded as though you were fishing' Joey said to her with a smile. 'You don't have to worry there is no wife or girlfriend for you to worry about' he said to her 'Just my mum and my sister. If you don't have plans tonight you could stay for dinner, maybe stay the night' he looked at her expectantly.

'If that's your way of asking if I have a husband or boyfriend then my answer is no, I don't' she told him 'and when you say stay the night you mean what exactly?' she chewed on her bottom lip as she posed the question to him.

'I meant that there's a sofa at my mum's that we haven't christened yet' he flirted with her.

'Oh well, we can't have that can we?' she flirted right back.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

On the way home, the two of them were filling the other in on some of the things that had happened in their life since they last saw each other. They were both laughing and joking about things, things that at the time they both thought weren't funny but as they told each other they realised they were.

Then Joey told Lauren about his tumour. He hadn't realised she'd stopped walking until he looked at her, asking her if she was going to say something. He turned and walked back to her. 'I'm sorry I just blurted it out like that but I thought I should tell you the truth' he told her. 'If you like I can walk you back to the train station' he offered. Lauren looked at him and shook her head.

'I don't want to go to the train station' she told him softly. 'I want to be with you' she replied.

'Look if this is because of the tumour and the few months I have left to live…' he shook his head.

'It isn't because of that' she said softly.

'No? Then why?' he asked her.

'You offered me sex and I want sex' she told him and she grabbed his arm and started to walk again. Joey was speechless. 'Sex with you is always amazing'

'So this is about sex?' he asked her. He felt her hand squeeze his arm and then slide down to his hand, her fingers linking through his.

'Not completely about sex' she said 'it's about the time you and I have already wasted when we should've been together' she told him. She stopped walking and looked at him 'I'd rather have four fantastic months with you then four shitty ones with someone who isn't you' she said to him softly. 'Besides, I never stopped loving you either' she whispered and she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren stayed with Joey every night since that first night. Sarah and Alice were pleased he was happy again and had something else to focus on besides the tumour that was currently killing him. Lauren had been a godsend in keeping Joey in a good mood and could bring him out of a foul mood quicker than Sarah or Alice ever could.

Sarah woke up one night to a timid knock on her bedroom door. She climbed out of bed, pulling on her robe and found a worried and tearful Lauren standing there.

'Joey said he doesn't feel right, he's asked me to call an ambulance. It's on its way' she told her.

'Okay darling, I'll get dressed and call a cab. You go with Joey in the ambulance and I'll wake Alice and we'll meet you there' she told Lauren with a calmness she didn't feel.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

An agonising hour and a half later Joey's consultant came to find them. 'Hello Lauren, Sarah, Alice' he said as he saw them all seated in the waiting area. He crouched down in front of them.

'Is he okay?' Sarah voiced the question Lauren and Alice were too scared to ask. 'There was a lot of activity in and out of his room when we first brought him in and no one's told us anything'

'I've been in with Joey and he's doing much better. He had a severe migraine and nosebleed just after he was brought in and we've finally managed to stop the bleeding for now' he explained to them. 'I want you all to be prepared for what he looks like when you go in to see him, he doesn't look the same as he did when you last saw him. The tumour has increased in size and shifted slightly which caused some tearing and is the reason he was in so much pain and some of the blood vessels around the tumour tore which caused the nosebleed. The tumour is pressing against the back of his eyeball and it's protruding a little bit. He's lost a little bit of vision in this eye, which is what we expected to happen' he told them. 'We'll keep a close eye on him over the next forty eight hours and see how he goes'

'Can we see him?' Lauren asked quietly.

'Actually he's asked to see Lauren on her own first' he said, Lauren looked at Sarah and Alice apologetically.

'That's fine' Sarah smiled at her 'go on in love' she said.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

'Hey you' Lauren smiled as she walked into the room 'how do you feel?' she asked him.

'Okay, I guess' he told her with a shrug 'I'm happy the head splitting migraine has gone and the river from my nose has finally stopped' he told her 'Although I'm a little pissed off my dream of a career as a professional darts player is going down the toilet before it even started' he joked.

'Do you even play darts?' Lauren asked him as she walked over to the bed.

'Nope, but that's not the point' he grinned at her.

Lauren rolled her eyes 'Is your inappropriate joking the only reason you wanted to see me alone?' she asked as she leant forward to kiss him softly. 'Sarah and Alice have been waiting out there for as long as I have, they're eager to see you too' she told him.

'I know, there was something I wanted to ask you' he told her.

'Oh?' she raised her eyebrows at him 'what?'

'Marry me?' he asked her. 'I'd get down on one knee but I'm hooked up to so many machines I'd probably break one of them getting tangled up in all the wires' he said to her. He looked up at her 'Well? Are you going to put me out of my misery?' he asked her. She scowled at him and he held up his hands 'Sorry, poor choice of words' he apologised quickly. 'I'm being serious Lauren, I love you. You love me…we have proof of that love growing inside you. I want to marry you. I don't care how long I get to be your husband for. I just know that I want to be your husband. So, will you marry me?'

Lauren nodded her head. 'Yes' she whispered 'yes, I'll marry you, Joey' she told him she flung herself into his arms, hugging him tightly and kissing his neck and face.

'Tonight' he said to her 'I want to marry you tonight'

'Tonight? But how? I don't…'

'The Hospital Chaplain. Go find him and talk to him' he said to her, 'While you're doing that can you send mum and Alice in?' he asked her.

'Yes of course' she nodded her head. 'I'll be back as soon as I can'

***JL*JL*L*JL***

Lauren rushed into the room some twenty minutes later with a huge grin on her face, Joey looked at her expectantly 'Well?' he asked her.

'It's all set for an hour's time' she told him 'The Chaplain is getting us a special license and all we need to do now is get a few things ready and then you and I can get married' she smiled at him. 'I've spoken to mum and dad and Abi and they're getting a few things we'll need for us from home. Alice and Sarah are tasked with getting flowers and rings. So all we have to do is wait for them to get here and then we need to get ready. Dad is going to stay with you and help you get ready, whilst I steal everyone else away to help me, is that okay?' she asked him. Joey nodded his head in agreement. 'So in the meantime….you and I can fool around a little' she climbed onto the bed next to him and kissed him.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

45 minutes later and Lauren was finally ready and she looked at her mother 'What do you think?' she asked her 'Do you think he'll approve?'

'Yes' she smiled at her daughter 'he'll most definitely approve'

'Well, we'd better not keep him waiting any longer' Lauren said with a smile. The four women walked out of the bathroom that had been used as a makeshift bridal changing room and headed towards Joey's room. Sarah had gone to check on Joey and give him a progress update on Lauren.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

They turned the corner of the corridor and saw Max and Sarah came out of Joey's room. 'Where's the Chaplain?' Lauren asked in a whisper.

'I'm sure he's in the room with Joey, giving him some words of wisdom as his last night as a single man' Tanya squeezed Lauren's shoulder gently. Max smiled as he saw them and whispered something to Sarah and disappeared back into Joey's room. Sarah walked over to the group, Lauren looked at her expectantly. 'Is he ready?' Lauren asked her excitedly, when Sarah didn't reply, Lauren pretended to frown angrily 'he better not have changed his mind' she joked and she laughed. The people around her laughed too.

'He hasn't changed his mind, darling' Sarah said walking over to Lauren and took her hands in hers 'you look so beautiful, Lauren' she told her softly. 'Well you don't want to keep the groom waiting do you?' she asked her. Lauren shook her head.

'No, I don't want to do that' she said with a smile.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren could hear some music playing as she walked towards the room. It took her a few moments to recognise it. She smiled when she did. It was Otis Redding: These Arms Of Mine. It was from Dirty Dancing. Joey could be such a romantic man when he wanted to be. She walked into the room and Joey's face lit up when he saw her.

'You look so beautiful' he told her. Lauren looked at Joey. He was sitting upright in bed and was wearing a suit jacket, shirt and tie and had a flower pinned into his lapel.

'And you look very handsome' she replied, she glanced at her dad who winked at her.

'I'm still wearing my pyjama bottoms' Joey told her in a whisper as she got closer to the bed. The song changed and Lauren realised it was another song from Dirty Dancing, Solomon Burke: Cry To Me filled the room. The song that'd been playing when their little surprise had been conceived. She smiled at Joey and he winked at her as he took her hand. The hospital Chaplain cleared his throat and the wedding ceremony began.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

The next morning, Lauren woke up and smiled. She was a little stiff from laying on the cramped space with Joey but she wasn't going to complain, she'd spent her wedding night with her husband (thanks to Joey's consultant Mr Davidson pulling a few strings) so she was feeling pretty happy. She glanced at Joey and saw he was still sleeping, careful not to wake him, she flipped back the covers and climbed out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom. She was only 3 months pregnant and already she needed to pee more than she used to. She washed her hands, splashing some water on her face and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was a mess. She dried her hand and face and then brushed her fingers through her hair, trying to make it look a little more less like she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards and more like sexy bed hair. Once she was done she walked back to the bed and climbed in. She'd let Joey have a few more minute before she woke him up. They'd talked and kissed long into the early hours of the morning. She snuggled against him and lay her head on his chest.

After a while Lauren realised something wasn't quite right. There was something missing. She frowned and sat up, tucking her hair behind her ear and laying her head on Joey's chest again. She couldn't hear anything. She swallowed, she was sure she'd heard it a few moments before. She closed her eyes and listened hard. But all she could hear was the sound of her own heart thumping loudly in her chest. She couldn't hear Joey's. She sat up and looked at him. He didn't look dead. He couldn't be dead.

'Joey?' she shook him gently, nothing happened. 'J...Joey…Joey' she shook him again a little harder this time but he didn't stir. She pressed her fingers to his neck, she couldn't feel a pulse. She licked her lips and she reached for the call button, stopping herself before she pressed it. She shook Joey again. 'Joey this isn't funny' she told him' 'please wake up' she whispered. She pressed her lips against his and slowly slid off the bed. She walked to the door and opened it. Sarah, Alice and her dad were all still there. Only her dad was awake.

'Sweetheart?' he sat upright in his chair.

'I think he's gone, dad' she whispered, two tears rolled down her face. Max got up out of the chair, walking over to her and taking her into his arms. Sarah and Alice stirred as they heard Lauren's crying getting louder. 'I can't do this daddy, I can't live without him. I _need_ him. We_ need_ him' she said, resting her hand on his stomach.

Sarah and Alice moved into Joey's room, leaving Max and Lauren outside.

'Joey told me you were pregnant last night' Max told her 'He was so pleased Lauren, so excited about the prospect of being a father'

'Not excited enough to make him live though was it?' she asked him 'he had to go and be all selfish and die on us' she sobbed 'when we need him the most'

'Hey now. It wasn't like that and you know it. He didn't have a choice' he told her softly. 'I'd change places with him if I could you know that' he told her. 'I'd rather I was the one lying there and Joey was here with you, living the life he should've had…' his voice trembled with emotions. Lauren looked up at her father in surprise and shock

'I can't bring up a baby alone' Lauren whispered looking up at him.

'You won't have to darling, I'll help you' he told her.

'So will we' Sarah said from behind them. 'We'll make sure this little baby knows everything about his daddy and how much he loved him or her and that he's watching over him or her from heaven.'

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren crouched down at the graveside. She took out the old flowers and replaced them with new ones. Half a dozen red roses. 'Hey babe' she said, reaching out and touching the picture that'd been embedded in the stone. 'I'm sorry I couldn't come last week, I had the flu and between your mum, Alice and my dad the place had more security than Fort Knox' she smiled sitting down on the blanket she had laid out. 'I'm feeling much better now though, your mum makes a pretty mean chicken soup. I miss you. Every second of every day. I wish you were here with us' she told him. 'Look who I brought to see you' she turned to the side picking something up and then turning back to the grave. 'It's JJ' she said with a smile 'He's gotten even bigger since the last time I brought him. He's into everything now' she smiled 'and he's learnt his first word. Who's that JJ? Who's that?' she pointed at the picture on the headstone.

'Dada…dada…' JJ said clapping his hands.

'Yes, that's right that's dada' Lauren grinned proudly 'clever boy JJ' she gave the little boy a hug and a kiss. 'He looks more and more like you every day' Lauren told him 'when he smiles he even has dimples in the same place you did' she told him.

***JL*JL*JL*JL* **

An hour later she sighed 'well we'd better be going, I'll see you same time next week babe. I love you, always' she whispered. She pressed her fingertips to her lips and then pressed them against Joey's picture. She put JJ in the buggy and turned to look at the grave one last time. Tears filled her eyes as she saw JJ waving bye-bye at the headstone. She walked out of the graveyard and saw her dad was still waiting for her.

'I thought you might need a hug' he said in explanation for why he was still there. She smiled and nodded her head, moving into his arms.

'Thanks dad. Thanks for everything' she whispered.

'Any time sweetheart, go and get in the car in the warm. I'll put Joey Junior in the car seat'

'Okay' Lauren smiled, reaching up and kissing him on the cheek.

**AN: Okay, so this time we discovered Lauren was pregnant and they got married but that still wasn't enough to change the outcome….what decisions need to be made? Leave me a review. Back tomorrow. **


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Thank you for all your reviews…Let's see if anything changes in this chapter…. It's a big chapter too! **

**Chapter Seven**

Joey had just had the worst news he could ever have. He'd gone to the hospital after being referred there by his GP for some headaches and nose bleeds he'd been suffering. He didn't know exactly what his diagnosis would be. He'd had a CT scan and had to wait an hour for the results. He didn't know what he'd expected to be told but this...this definitely wasn't it. He wished he'd taken up his mother's offer of coming with him, but he'd insisted it wasn't necessary. He'd told her the doctor he'd just thought he was suffering from severe migraines and just wanted him to go to the hospital to be certain.

He walked out of the hospital in a daze, after the consultant had introduced himself as Head of Oncology Joey couldn't remember anything else he'd said. Well that wasn't strictly true. There were another seven words he remembered.

Skull Base Tumor.

Six months to live.

Those were the other seven words he could remember. Those seven words were playing over and over in his head. He wasn't ready to go home yet, he needed some time to think…to process what he'd learnt today. He took a left turn at the hospital and headed towards a café he knew.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

He was lost in his thoughts, staring into his coffee as things played over and over in his mind. He was oblivious to everyone and everything around him. He was brought back to the here and now when another cup of coffee was pushed towards his.

'I didn't order this' he said looking up into a pair of familiar brown eyes. 'Lauren?' he frowned.

'It's mine, not yours' she replied 'do you mind if I join you?' she asked him as Joey stood up and pulled her into his arms, surprising her. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him back.

'What are you doing here?' he whispered into her hair 'it's so good to see you, babe'

'It's good to see you too' Lauren replied as Joey released her. He moved to the chair next to the one he was sitting in and pulled her down next to him. 'I was just heading back to the Tube station after a job interview and I saw you through the window. I thought I'd come in and say hey' she told him.

'Job interview?' he asked her 'here?'

'Well no, not in the café' she said to him with a teasing smile 'there's a graphic design company just passed the hospital' she told him.

'How do you think it went?' he asked her.

'I have no idea' she told him 'they wanted to keep my portfolio and have a good look through it, so that has to be a good sign right? She asked him 'I think it went okay'

'Did they say when they'd let you know?' he asked her.

'By the end of the day' she told him and she picked up her coffee and took a sip.

'It's going to be a long commute from Walford' he told her. He looked up at her, studying her face, drinking in the sight of her.

'I don't live in Walford anymore. Just outside but yeah it'll still be a long commute' she nodded her head. 'If I get it I might have to consider moving a bit closer' she said.

'You can move in with me' he told her. Lauren blinked at him in surprise. 'I'm sure mum and Alice wouldn't mind'

'You live here?' she asked him.

'Well no, not in the café' he said mirroring her words from earlier, she smiled and chuckled softly. 'About half an hour's walk from here' he told her. 'You should come home with me, meet mum and I know Alice would love to see you.' Lauren looked at him and nodded her head.

'I'd like that' she said with a smile.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Half an hour later the two of them were walking towards Joey's house. Joey's hands were tucked into his pocket and Lauren's arm was tucked through his.

'So…is there anyone waiting for you at home?' he asked her.

Lauren smiled 'Nice attempt at casual' she said. 'But to answer your question. No there's no one waiting for me, unless you count Eric'

'Eric?' Joey glanced at her.

'He's a goldfish. Dad brought him for me, to keep me company' she told him with a smile.

'Goldfish good company are they?' Joey asked her.

'Doesn't make a mess, doesn't answer back, doesn't hog the duvet or snore…yeah he's pretty good company' she nodded her head. She licked her lips 'what about you?' she asked him.

'I make a lot of mess and I answer back' Joey said 'I'm pretty sure I don't hog the duvet and I don't think I snore'

'You do hog the duvet and you snore a little' Lauren replied. 'And that's not what I meant and you know it' she nudged him slightly.

'Would I have asked you to move in with me if I was seeing someone?' he asked her. Lauren turned to look at him. Her reply died on her lips.

'Joey, your nose is bleeding' she said. They stopped walking and Joey fished in his pocket for a tissue. Lauren came to the rescue, pulling a packet out of her purse 'Here' she said, pulling one out for him. He took it and clamped it over his nose. Lauren walked him to a bench and sat him down. 'Pinch the bridge of your nose and tilt your head back' she said, Joey did as she said, he felt her hand under his chin as she tilted his head back a little further. After a few minutes passed Lauren took the tissue from him 'let me see' she said. The three words transported Joey to another time and place where Lauren had taken care of him after his father Derek had "punched" him in the face. 'It's stopped' she said to him. She screwed up the tissue and pulled out a plastic bag from her handbag, pushing the used tissue inside. She pulled out a new tissue and wiped Joey's nose and chin. 'There, that's better' she smiled up at him.

'Thanks' he smiled at her gratefully. His mobile phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket, looking at it. 'Its mum' he told her, he rejected the call, pushing the phone back into his pocket.

'Don't you think you should've answered that? Prepared her for her long lost niece coming by for a visit?' she asked him.

'We're almost home. Be another fifteen minutes'

'She might have wanted to talk to you about something important' Lauren frowned at him 'Call her back, Joey'

'She wants to know how I got on at the hospital' Joey said to her 'I'll tell her when I get home. It's probably a conversation that's better had face to face anyway' Lauren frowned at him.

'Hospital? What were you doing at the hospital?' she asked him. 'Is everything okay?' she looked up at him worriedly. 'Joey, talk to me.' Joey looked at her and sighed.

'I don't know what to say…how to explain…'

'Start at the beginning' Lauren told him.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Sarah heard the front door open and close. She waited patiently for Joey to come into the room and put her mind at rest about his hospital visit.

'Joseph Branning! Where have you been?' Sarah frowned as he came into the room 'I've been worried sick about…' she trailed off as Joey pulled a pretty brunette girl into the room behind him. 'Oh…who's this?'

'Lauren?' Alice exclaimed, leaping off the sofa and rushing over to hug her, practically pushing Joey out of the way to get to her. 'Lauren!' She squealed 'it's so good to see you'

'You too Al' Lauren smiled hugging Alice tightly.

'Alright Al…you'll have plenty of time to catch up with Lauren later' Joey said, tugging on his sister's arm. Alice let Lauren go and she beamed at her.

'Mum, this is Lauren Branning' Alice said before Joey had a chance to introduce them. 'Lauren this is…'

'Your mum? Yeah I got that' Lauren said with a smile, she looked at Sarah 'it's nice to meet you' she told her.

'Max's eldest?' Sarah asked her and Lauren nodded her head 'I've heard a lot about you she said looking the young woman up and down.

'I'd like to say that nothing you've heard is true, but it probably is' Lauren said softly. Joey was watching his mother closely, wondering what kind of reaction Lauren was going to get from her.

'It's nice to finally meet you' she said looking pointedly at Joey 'you've no idea how many times I practically begged Joey to bring you home to meet me, but he refuse each and every time' she said and she smiled. 'Call me, Sarah'

'Joey…how did things go at the hospital?' Alice asked him taking a seat in the empty armchair.

'Alice, why don't you go and put the kettle on, I'm sure Joey and Lauren would like something to drink' Sarah said to her.

'But mum…' Alice protested.

'It's okay, mum' Joey said softly. 'Lauren knows where I've been. In fact she went back there with me'

'Went back?' Sarah frowned at him 'I don't understand?' she said looking between him and Lauren.

Joey licked his lips 'You'd better sit down mum'

Sarah sank back into her chair without another word. Lauren and Joey sat down on the sofa and Joey began to tell them what he'd found out today. Sarah watched as Lauren's hand moved to her son's thigh and squeezed it gently, Joey turned to look at her briefly and then took her hand in his, linking his fingers through hers.

When he'd finished speaking, his mother and sister were both crying. 'I'll make some tea' Lauren whispered to Joey. He nodded his head.

'Thanks, babe'

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren walked into the kitchen and started to look for cups and spoons. Once she'd found everything she needed she waited in the kitchen, not wanting to interrupt things in the lounge, feeling as though she needed to give Joey and his family some alone time whilst they took in the news Joey had just shared with them. Her mobile rang suddenly and loudly in her pocket. Making her jump. She grabbed it and answered it.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Joey walked into the kitchen just as Lauren hung up the phone.

'Well?' he asked her. She spun round to look at him. 'Was that about the job?' he asked her.

'Yes' she nodded her head.

'Don't keep me in suspense did you get it?' he asked her.

Lauren nodded her head again 'Yes' she replied.

'Babe, that's great news' Joey beamed at her, crossing the room and enveloping her in his arms. 'Congratulations' he whispered in her ear. 'You said you'd take it?' he asked her.

'They want me to start next Monday' she told him. 'I just need to find a flat now'

'I've already said you can stay here, mum and Al won't mind' he told her firmly.

'I'm not sure that's a good idea under the circumstances. I think your mum and Alice are going to want to spend every moment they can with you, they don't want a relative stranger living here too' she told him.

'You're not a stranger. Al knows you and you heard mum, she's heard all about you' he told her 'they'd love to have you here' he told her 'I know I'd love to have you here' he said, stroking her cheek with his fingers, tucking he hair behind her ear. Lauren smiled up at him.

'Well, if they say it's okay' she said to him.

'They will' he told her confidently

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren was currently settled on the sofa downstairs, having missed the last tube home. Sarah refused to let Lauren go home alone in a taxi at this time of night, telling her it'd cost the earth from here to Walford. Sarah had got some spare blankets and pillows and had made a bed up for Lauren on the sofa. Joey had tried to persuade Lauren to take his bed, she told him she wasn't kicking him out of his own bed and the sofa would be fine. She'd blushed when Joey told her he wouldn't be giving up his bed for her but he was more than happy to share it with her.

The three of them had gone up to bed and Lauren was watching a movie on the TV. She heard the bottom door open as someone came into the room. She pressed the pause button on the remote.

'I'm sorry is it too loud?' she asked, expecting to see Sarah or Alice. Instead she saw Joey. Joey who was currently only wearing a pair of grey pyjama bottoms that were sitting very low on his hips. Clearly he still worked out. He looked hot. Lauren swallowed.

'No it's not too loud' he said, shaking his head. 'What are you watching?'

'Dirty Dancing' she told him 'It's just started if you'd care to join me?' she said, knowing he hated the film with a passion.

'Shift over then' his response surprised her. She shifted forward on the sofa. Joey smiled and climbed over the arm to settle down behind her, pulling the blanket over them both.

'Did I wake you?' Lauren asked him, staring intently at the TV as she pressed play. Trying to focus on the film instead of Joey's body pressed up against her. She wished she'd taken up Alice's offer of something more to sleep in than a t-shirt. She thought she'd be alone down here so had gone to bed in the borrowed t-shirt and her knickers and that was it.

'No, I couldn't sleep' he told her quietly 'There's too much going on in my head right now. Literally and figuratively' he told her.

'That's understandable, Joey' she said, shifting a little closer to the edge of the sofa. 'You were told some really serious news today and a lot of information, of course it's going to be going round and round in your head' she told him.

'I guess, it's kind of a lot to take in' he replied quietly. 'I didn't really feel like being alone' he said to her, 'I hope it's okay that I came down here, I took the chance you weren't asleep yet'

'I'd hazard a guess that there'll be no one sleeping tonight' she replied in a whisper.

The two of them fell quiet and enjoyed watching the film. She felt Joey brush her hair over her shoulder, she took a breath and let it out slowly. His hand slid over her arm, down her side and rested on her hip briefly before sliding over her stomach, he pressed gently, pulling her back against him. She closed her eyes and swallowed, wondering where this was going to lead to. She covered his hand with hers and squeezed gently. Joey smiled behind her.

'We haven't done this in a while' he said softly.

'There's a lot of things we haven't done in a while' she whispered back. Joey smiled behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder.

'I've missed you, Lauren' he told her honestly. 'Every day'

Lauren shifted again so she could look at him 'I've missed you too'

'Yeah?' he smiled at her 'how much?'

'A lot' she replied 'more than I thought I would, more than I wanted to' she admitted to him, she licked her lips and watched Joey's gaze drop to her mouth. She shifted a little bit more on the sofa, until she was facing him. Joey hesitantly moved his face closer to hers. Lauren's heart was pounding in her chest. Her eyes flickered shut as she felt his breath on her lips, his nose brushed against her gently and then his lips were on hers, in a soft tentative kiss. He pulled back to look at her, as if to check he wasn't overstepping anything, pushing her into something she didn't want. Lauren gazed up at him and she knew what he was silently asking her. She licked her lips.

'What is it with us christening sofas?' she asked him with a smile, giving him the answer he needed as she slid her arms neck, bringing him down into another kiss.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Hands, lips and tongues retraced previously memorised paths over each other's bodies as they reacquainted themselves. The few clothes they were wearing were hurriedly removed and tossed away, forgotten about the instant they left their hands. Hunger and passion and need and lust were driving the couple to their ultimate goal.

His mouth closed over one of her nipples as his hand delved between her legs, finding her already wet and ready for him. He teased the peak in his mouth, rolling it with his tongue biting down with blunt teeth, causing her to moan his name and arch up beneath him. He paid the same attention to her other breast and slowly positioned himself at her entrance. They both groaned in unison as he slid inside her, Lauren arching her back as he pressed forward. He stilled for a moment and looked down at her, wanting to savour the moment. This could be the last time he'd get to do this with her, he hoped that it wasn't, but he knew in the cold light of day things could look a little differently. Lauren's fingers danced over his back, over his bum and squeezed gently, urging him to move.

Joey revelled in the feeling she was invoking in him, sex had never been this good before Lauren; sex hadn't been good after her either. Lauren was the one girl in the world meant for him. His soul mate.

Lauren groaned loudly and Joey was briefly worried the noise would bring his mother or sister downstairs, he stilled and held his breath, waiting for the tell-tale creaks on the floorboards as one of them got out of bed. Hearing nothing, he started to move again. Lauren's fingernails dug into Joey's shoulders as she felt herself being propelled closer and closer to her orgasm. Joey's mouth closed over hers swallowing her cries as she exploded around him. A few more thrusts later and Joey joined her in climax.

His rested his head in the crook of her neck and he breathed heavily against her skin. Sex with Lauren was so much better then he remembered. He turned his head, kissing her neck, her cheek, her nose, her eyelids…the corner of her mouth. He stirred inside her and Lauren opened her eyes to look into his.

'Again?' she asked him somewhat surprised but not really, she wanted him again too.

'Yes' he whispered and he began to move within her once more.

*JL*JL*JL*JL*

'I love you' Lauren whispered shyly into the darkness, Joey's arms tightened around her as they lay in his bed, having moved there for fear of being caught by his mother or sister. Their need for each other not sated on the sofa.

'I love you too, Lauren' he replied kissing her shoulder.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Six weeks later and Lauren was still at the house. She hadn't really left except to go and pack up some of her things, with Joey's help of course. And to go to work. She'd explained the situation about Joey and her new bosses had been very understanding and had arranged for Lauren to be able to work from home so she could spend time with Joey. It was six weeks after that night on the sofa. Lauren sat down on the bed, staring at the little white stick in her hand. She couldn't believe it. This couldn't be right. She got up and reached for another box in the bag she'd brought back from the chemist. Tossing the stick into the pile on the bed she'd already done. She walked to the bathroom door, bumping into Sarah.

'Lauren?' Sarah said looking at the young woman's face. Lauren's hands moved to behind her back, like she was holding something she shouldn't have. Sarah noticed and she frowned slightly. 'What have you got there?' she asked her. Lauren swallowed and slowly moved her hand in front of her. Sarah looked down, raising her eyebrows as she saw the pregnancy testing kit, she raised her eyes to Lauren. 'Oh, I see' she said to her.

'I'm hoping this one will say negative' Lauren said in a whisper.

'This one? You've taken more?' Sarah asked her. Lauren nodded her head and she turned and led Sarah back to the room she was sharing with Joey. Sarah looked at the pile of tests on their bed. 'I wondered why it was so quiet up here' she said to her. 'But I could hear the toilet flushing and I was worried you weren't well' she told her softly. Sarah walked to the bed and she sat down and looked at the eight tests that all showed positive results. 'I don't think you're going to get a different result from that one do you?' she asked her.

Lauren shook her head tearfully. 'I'm sorry' she whispered.

Sarah frowned and looked up at her 'What are you sorry for?' she asked her in surprise. 'Did you think I thought you and Joey were just up here reading books or playing scrabble?' she asked her.

Lauren blushed and shook her head. 'No…' she told her softly. 'It's just really crappy timing' she told her and she burst into tears.

'Hey, I won't have any of that talk' Sarah said, getting up and taking Lauren into her arms, rocking her gently 'Joey's going to be thrilled'

'Is he?' Lauren asked her. 'Hi Joey, I'm pregnant and you'll never get to see if it's a boy or a girl because you'll be dead in three months?' she sobbed harder.

'Sssh' Sarah said softly. 'You mustn't think like that. Someone might be able to do something to help Joey' she told her 'I haven't given up hope yet and neither should you' she said softly. She pulled Lauren back to look at her 'There is one thing that I'm certain of and that's that my son loves you and there isn't anything he wouldn't do for you' she told her.

'I'm not sure beating an inoperable tumour that is eventually going to kill him is something he can do anything about' Lauren sniffed 'we've been living in the here and now, we haven't been thinking about the future because…'

'Joey doesn't have one?' Sarah asked her, Lauren nodded her head. Sarah wiped Lauren's tears away. 'Then you need to persuade him to see the consultant you've told me about. He's got nothing to lose has he?' she asked her. 'After dinner, I'll take Alice to the pub and give you and Joey some time to talk' she told her softly 'and you need to tell Joey about the future you two are going to have' she smiled at niece affectionately.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Joey frowned at the unusual silence at the dinner table. He noticed Lauren pushing her food around her plate, refusing to make eye contact with him. He glanced at his mother and she smiled at him as if she were oblivious to the tension in the room. He wondered if his mother and Lauren had exchanged words.

'Would you like some more swede, Lauren?' Sarah asked her.

Lauren looked up at her and nodded with a small smile 'please' Joey watched as his mother put some more swede on Lauren's plate. 'Thank you' Lauren said, sticking her fork into the mountain his mother had just piled on her plate and raised it to her mouth.

'You're welcome, sweetheart' Sarah replied smiling back at her.

Nope, they hadn't had a fight. Joey looked at Alice, maybe Alice had upset Lauren, but Alice looked just as confused as he was. Maybe Joey was picking up on something that wasn't there. He shrugged and took another bite of his food.

When dinner was finished, Sarah and Lauren disappeared into the kitchen to clean up, which wasn't unusual. Lauren liked to help out since Sarah refused to let her pay any money towards living there. Joey looked up at them when they returned to the room. It looked like Lauren had been crying, he frowned.

'Okay, Alice. Get your coat and purse. We're going down the pub' Sarah announced.

'What? Mum! Forrest Gump is on' Alice frowned at her.

'You can record it and watch it later' Sarah said to her 'you've seen it like forty seven times anyway'

'It's my favourite movie' Alice grumbled as she got up.

Sarah squeezed Lauren's hand as they left the house. Lauren took a deep breath and turned to look at Joey.

'You'd better sit down' she told him.

'I am sitting down' Joey replied with a hint of amusement in his voice. 'Maybe you should sit down?'

'Yeah…okay' Lauren nodded and sat down on the sofa next to him. 'I'm really sorry, Joey' she whispered to him.

'For what?' Joey looked at her in confusion, watching her brown eyes sparkle with tears. He swallowed, his heart sank as he imagined what she was going to tell him. He took a deep breath and stood up, walking to the window and looking out. He was already thinking the worst before Lauren had even said anything to him. He was scared this was going to happen, that she'd tell him she couldn't do this anymore and leave him. He swallowed. 'Whatever you've got to say just say it' he told her a little colder than he meant to sound. He needn't have worried though, Lauren didn't pick up on it, or if she did she didn't mention it.

'I didn't plan for this to happen' she told him 'I don't know how it happened…no that's not true I know exactly how it happened and when' she said with a small inappropriate giggle. 'I know this is really bad…horrible timing…' she trailed off 'Promise me you won't be angry with me' she whispered softly.

Joey closed his eyes, swallowing 'Of course not' Joey said softly 'Look, I know how hard this is for you' he told her 'If you want to leave now then I wouldn't blame you' he told her, hoping he was making it easier on her. 'No hard feelings, yeah?'

Lauren frowned 'What? You think I want to leave you?' she asked him, getting up off the sofa and walking up behind him, she grabbed his arm, turning him round to face her.

'Isn't that what you're trying to pluck up courage to tell me?' he frowned at her a little confused.

'No!' Lauren snapped at him. 'You think I was trying to tell you that I was leaving you? I'm trying to tell you that I'm pregnant. You think I'm leaving you? You're such a fucking moron!'

Joey blinked 'what did you just say?' he asked her as she turned away from him and started to pace the floor.

'I said you're a fucking moron!' she snapped angrily.

'No, before that' he grabbed her hand, forcing her to keep still and look at him. 'What did you say before that?' he asked her, cupping her face in his hands.

'I'm pregnant' she whispered. 'I know it's not the best timing, Joey' she told him tearfully.

'I'm going to be a father?' he asked her and she nodded her head.

'When? How?'

'Let's just say Dirty Dancing has a lot to answer for' she told him with a smile as two tears rolled down her cheeks.

'I knew there was a reason why I loved that movie' he told her softly, pulling her into a kiss. When the kiss ended he pressed his forehead against hers 'I love you so much, babe'

'I love you too, Joey' she told him softly. She took a deep breath, 'But you know what these means don't you?' she asked him. Joey looked at her in confusion, his brain so muddled with happiness that he couldn't figure out what she was trying to tell him.

'What?' he asked her.

'I'm six weeks now. And in another few months….' She trailed off.

'I'll be dead' he said to her, the earlier happiness he'd been feeling dropped away like a lead balloon. He walked over to the sofa and sank down onto it heavily.

'Unless…unless you go back and speak with that consultant I found again' she told him 'he said he might be able to get rid of the tumour…it wouldn't hurt to speak to him again' she bit on her bottom lip as she waited for his reply.

'Okay, okay' Joey nodded his head 'I'll go back and see the consultant' he told her softly. Lauren threw her arms around his neck hugging him tightly.

'Thank you, thank you, thank you' she murmured over and over again.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Joey looked at Lauren with frightened eyes. 'I'm scared' he admitted to her.

'I know' Lauren nodded her head 'me too' she brushed away the tears that had escaped from his eyes with her fingers.

'I don't want to leave you' he whispered to her 'I want to get to know my son, be a father to him…I want to be there when he's born, I want to change his nappies and feed him and hold him…'

'Ssh...' Lauren whispered softly as she watched more tears fall. She leant over him and pressed her lips against his. They both heard the door to his room open and Lauren ended the kiss

'Joey? Are you ready?' a voice asked him.

Joey took a deep breath and shaking his head. 'Can I just have five more minutes?' he asked his voice wavered as he said it, but his eyes never left Lauren.

'Of course' the door opened and closed again and they were alone together.

'I love you' Joey told Lauren 'I've loved you since the first time I saw you' he admitted to her 'I caused you so much pain…I pushed you away when you needed me the most…I slept with your best friends when you were in rehab…' Lauren placed her fingers over his lips.

'Hush. Joey, that doesn't matter now, that's in the past and it's not important anymore' she told him as her eye filled with tears.

Joey took her hand in his, removing her fingers from his lips 'Please…I need to say this…' Joey said to her urgently.

'Okay' Lauren nodded her head.

'I don't deserve you' he told her 'I don't deserve the past five months...'

'Yes, you do' Lauren told him with a frown. 'I love you, Joey. I was so mad at you still when you left that Christmas. Part of me wanted to come with you, to have a fresh start. But Jake was shiny and new…and I thought…well I don't know what I thought' she frowned shaking her head 'I don't think I was thinking… not clearly anyway' she told him. 'You listen to me and you listen good Joey. This is sounding a little too much like goodbye to me and I'm not going to say goodbye to you. These past five months with you have been the best five months of my life…I could never have imagined being as happy as I am now' she told him 'I'm pregnant, Joey. We're having a baby…a son…and I'm not bringing up this baby alone. Do you hear me? You proposed to me…'

'You said no' he shot back, pouting a little as he remembered.

Lauren rolled her eyes 'I didn't say no. I told you to ask me again after you have this operation' she reminded him.

'I might not live through the operation' he reminded her. Lauren licked her lips and she stroked his cheek.

'You'd better' she told him firmly 'you even think about leaving me now, four and a half months pregnant and unmarried and I'll be so pissed off with you. I'll call the baby Derek I swear!'

'You wouldn't dare!' he narrowed his eyes at her, anger flashing in them.

'Try me' she replied, staring into his eyes. After a few moments his gaze softened.

'Okay, okay. No goodbyes' he said to her.

'No' she shook her head. 'No goodbyes' she told him softly 'Just a see you later' she said, taking his hand in hers. 'I think it's time for you to go into surgery now, you can't put it off any longer' she told him 'also I need to pee' she added with a grin.

Joey laughed and she smiled at him. 'Oh, alright then' he said 'you better show him in then' he nodded towards the door.

Lauren walked to the door 'He's ready now' she said softly. The surgeon followed her into the room. She moved back to the bed and she bent down and she kissed him 'I'll see you later, okay?' she asked him softly. Joey nodded his head.

'See you later, babe' he said softly. He looked her or a long time and then closed his eyes. 'Okay doc' Joey said softly 'let's get this over with' he told him.

'Open your eyes Joey' Lauren told him.

Joey shook his head 'I want the last thing I see before I close my eyes to be your beautiful face' he told her

'And it will be the first thing you see when you open your eyes again' she promised him, bending to kiss him again.

She stayed in the room as Joey was wheeled away from her. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She was terrified this was going to be the last time she saw Joey alive. She hoped to God it wouldn't be.

The door opened again and her dad appeared with a coffee for her 'come on, babe, lets go wait with Sarah and Alice' he told her.

Lauren nodded her head. 'Okay, but I have to pee first' she told, rubbing her belly softly.

'We can make a stop on the way' he smiled putting his arm around her shoulders.

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

One hours passed. No news came.

Two hours passed. No news came.

Three hours passed. No news came.

Four hours passed. No news came.

Five hours passed. No news came.

Six hours passed. No news came.

Seven hours passed. No news came.

Eight hours passed. No news came.

Nine hours passed. No news came.

Ten hours passed….

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

The door to the lift opened and a very tired surgeon came out. Lauren stood up, letting go of her dad's hand. She was aware that Sarah and Alice got to their feet too.

The surgeon was walking closer and closer to them and Lauren studied his face looking for some sign to let her know how the operation had gone. Whether Joey was still alive or not. She saw nothing.

He started to speak and as Lauren took in his words the tears streamed down her face. She collapsed on the floor, crying uncontrollably as she heard the news. Max crouched down, wrapping his arms around his daughter as she cried brokenly. She turned and clung to him tightly.

'It's okay, sweetheart, I'm here' he whispered softly.

**AN: Oh no! Well it looks as though we're back to square one again. Leave me a review…. Back tomorrow. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Eight**

Lauren was washing up in the kitchen, thinking about the events of her life over the past few years. What would have happened if she had chosen to leave with Joey on Boxing Day? What if she hadn't kept getting so drunk all the time? What if she never gave Lucy the opportunity to spike her drink…would she and Joey never broken up. Would they still have been together? Would she have been able to see through Michael's scheme and keep Alice out of trouble…maybe Michael still would have ended up being murdered but Alice wouldn't have been in the frame for it. Joey would never have slept with Janine… Lauren sighed. At the end of the day it came down to choices. Decisions that you make every single day. Some big, some small but these decisions shape the whole of your future in one way or another. Decisions you make can make your life better, make it worse, even end it prematurely.

Her mind wandered to Joey. He had made a lot of wrong decisions since stepping foot in Walford. Getting involved with Lucy Beale…getting involved with Whitey Dean…getting involved with Janine. Even though Lauren knew the only reason he was sleeping with Janine was to get her to admit she set up his sister, she was still angry with him from making that particular decision. She smiled, shaking her head. It wouldn't do any good to be angry about that any more. That was in the past, the decision had already been made and the consequences had already happened and besides, It wasn't as though you got a chance to redo things differently.

She felt a familiar, yet strange feeling in her boobs it was time to feed her son. Hers and Joey's son. She smiled again as she thought about the good that had come out of their reunion. She glanced at the clock on the wall. Her son was overdue his feed and usually he would be screaming the house down….she went to see why he was being so quiet…..

***JL*JL*JL*JL***

Lauren smiled as she walked into the room and saw him holding his son by the window. She stood in the door way, folding her arms across her chest as she listened to Joey talking.

'Out there is a world full of possibilities' she heard him say 'you will have so many choices to make and you need to make sure that you make the right ones. But it's okay if sometimes you don't make the right ones and you end up making mistakes. Like for example, mummy made the choice of eating Thai Green Curry for tea a week ago, not realising that you would also be eating Thai Green Curry because you were being breastfed, mummy didn't realise that it would hurt your little tummy and make you scream and cry for five hours straight and keep the whole house awake… possible the neighbours too…But next time mummy has that choice to make we both know she's not going to choose Thai Green Curry, don't we hey?' he said rocking his son in his arms. 'Mistakes are a good way to learn about what's wrong or right, good or bad. Some things are common sense, but sometimes you're going to be faced with some really tough decisions and it's going to be hard for you to work out what the right thing to do is' he said 'and anytime you need some advice you just come and talk to me or mummy about it and we'll see If we can help you. If you don't want to take to me or mummy you can always talk to Auntie Alice or Nana Sarah, or there's Uncle Oscar and Auntie Abi, Nana Tan or Grandpa Max. Or one of your friends. Whatever it is you decide to do you need to remember that for every decision you make that there will be consequences, most of the time if your decision making is good the consequences will be good too. But if the decision is bad then it's likely the consequences will be bad too. It might also mean that you get into trouble and if that happens you have to promise that you'll come and tell daddy straight away because I can help you get out of any kind of trouble' he said and he looked down at his son 'except if you've got a girl in trouble and then there's nothing daddy can do, which is why, when you're old enough daddy is going to sit down with you and tell you all about the birds and the bees and tell you about safe sex and buy you condoms every month so you have no excuses' he said and he smiled at him. 'When you're old enough to be interested in girls, you might want to know how you know who the right one is because there are so many girls around. The truth is it's not going to be the girl who puts out on a first date, those girls are never the right girls' he said to him 'When you're older I'll tell you the story about me and mummy and how I knew she was the one for me and I'll also tell you about how my bad choices nearly screwed everything up for good' Joey paused and he looked out of the window. 'I'm just lucky that I got a second chance with her, and I'm not going to do anything to screw it up this time. When you're in love with someone everything can be going horribly wrong, everything can be falling apart but as long as you're with the person you love and they love you too it doesn't matter how crappy things look. All that matters is that you're not having to face things alone' he said and he turned his gaze back to the little boy in his arms, the little boy was staring up at him intently as if he understood everything Joey was saying to him. 'I love your mummy so much, and I know I don't tell her enough…and I love you too. You're my precious little boy and no one and nothing is going to hurt you, daddy won't let them' he raised his arms and kissed his son gently on the forehead. Movement at the other end of the room caught his eye and he smiled. 'Look here's mummy' Joey said, turning slightly so Sam could see her.

'Hey there my little handsome man' Lauren cooed softly, running her fingers over his soft downy hair 'are you having some father and son bonding time?' she asked him, he gurgled and waved his arms in the air before pushing a fist into his mouth. 'Yes, I know you're hungry aren't you? Mummy's boobs feel like they are going to explode any second' she said softly as Joey handed him to her.

'That's a nice visual to give Sam' he scolded her gently.

'He doesn't understand words yet, Joey. He's only 6 months old' Lauren told him as she carried Sam to the sofa. She sat down and undid her blouse and unhooked her bra and held Sam to her breast. A few moment later his little mouth clamped over her nipple and he started to suckle hungrily. Joey stood watching, transfixed by the image of his wife feeding his son. His mind wandered as he watched.

18 months ago he was told he only had 6 months to live. He'd bumped into Lauren just after he was told the news and she hadn't left his side since. 3 months after he'd found that out Lauren had told him she was pregnant. They hadn't actively been trying for a baby, in fact they'd only had sex a few times, but once was all it too. Before then he'd been resigned to the fact that he was going to die, he'd been told that the tumour was inoperable. Lauren had insisted they get a second opinion and a third and fourth and so on and so on…each time they sought a different point of view they were told the same thing. Inoperable. This was because of where the tumour was situated. Behind his eyes socket and nasal cavity, they'd be going in blind and were too afraid of the complications that would arise from the procedure. No one would risk that kind of surgery.

Until the tenth surgeon they saw told them there was a chance he could remove the tumour but it was a risky surgery not to mention expensive. Joey and Lauren listened to the risks of the operation, the foremost one being death. Which albeit a little earlier than either Joey or Lauren would've liked, at the end of the day he was going to die anyway so that risk wasn't exactly a big risk to take. If the surgery were successful, however, those risks were the ones that gave both Lauren and Joey pause for thought. These included blindness, loss of smell and taste, personality changes. One sided paralysis. Total paralysis or a stroke. Lauren was quick to tell Joey she'd be with him and care for him whatever happened and told Joey he had to take the risk and have the operation. Joey on the other hand was reluctant. He didn't want to be a burden on Lauren or his family. He knew taking care of a stroke victim was no easy task or cheap one at that and he wasn't sure he wanted to live like that.

He'd spoken to the surgeon about it alone and it was the surgeon who convinced Joey to take the risk. He'd told Joey that he felt he could remove 99% of the tumour 100% successfully through his nose using laparoscopic surgery and they could shrink the remaining tumour with radiotherapy. So Joey had agreed, the only issue was the money and the short space of time Joey had left to raise it. Surprising Joey and Lauren, the surgeon made a deal with them. If he was successful with the surgery, as he expected to be, Joey and Lauren could pay half his fee to them when they had the money. If the surgery wasn't successful then he'd waive his fee completely.

Joey was worried about where they were going to get the money from until a visit from Max. He handed the two of them a cheque for the full amount of the surgery, telling him that he'd spoken to Jack about it and his uncle had re-mortgaged the house. Joey had told him he'd pay him back as soon as he could but Max was having none of it, telling Joey the only thing he wanted from him was for Joey to get better and live and make Lauren happy and raise their son or daughter together. That was the only repayment he needed.

Needless to say, the surgery was a success. It was a long surgery, almost 10 hours. Joey of course had no idea how much time had passed until after he'd woken up. The surgeon kept his promise of removing 99% of the tumour and Joey had undergone some radiotherapy and the remaining part of the tumour had shrunk. It wasn't gone, it was still there but Joey was having regular check-ups with the surgeon and he was happy to say he was fit and healthy and had many, many more years ahead of him now.

After the surgery, the doctor refused to take any payment from them at all, telling them they'd need that money to raise their son, advising them that babies were expensive. He instead asked them to name their son after him. He was joking of course but Lauren and Joey named their son Sam Thomas Branning, after Joey's surgeon Dr. Samuel Thomas. Joey owed a lot to this man and if all he wanted was Joey's son named after him then so be it.

'Where's your head at?' Lauren asked her husband. He looked at her and smiled.

'Sorry babe, I'm here' he told he and he moved to sit down next to her on the sofa. 'Well Sam seems to be happy and contented where he is' he said with a smile 'I can see why'

Lauren turned to look at him and she smiled 'like father like son, hey?' Lauren said softly. Joey nodded his head, reaching out to stroke Sam's cheek with his fingers. Sam turned to look at his dad, the nipple he was suckling on popped out of his mouth, he stared at Joey for a few seconds and then smiled, milk dribbling down his chin.

'Stop distracting him' Lauren scolded Joey gently. 'Come on, Sam' she spoke to her son gently. His eyes moved to her and he nuzzled her breast, seeking her nipple once more. Joey smiled as his son's mouth clamped down over it again and he began to suckle hungrily.

'And how's this little one doing?' Joey asked her, resting his hand on her stomach. Lauren was four months pregnant with their second child, a little girl. Finding out Lauren was pregnant again so soon after the birth of their son was a bit of a shock to both Lauren and Joey. Not to mention the rest of the family. But after everyone's initial shock had worn off they'd congratulated the couple, telling them they were so pleased for them both. Uncle Jack had joked saying Joey wasn't wasting any time and Joey simply smiled and shook his head, telling him that they'd wasted enough time and that after everything he'd been through he realised that no one knew how much time they had in this world and Joey wasn't going to be wasting anymore. It still only took once, Joey realised with a small smile.

'She's good' Lauren replied with a smile.

Joey moved forward and kissed his wife gently. 'I love you, you know that right?' he asked her. 'You're my whole world, the reason I'm still alive' he told her softly. 'I'm going to make you so happy, I promise'

Lauren nodded her and smiled 'You already do' she replied 'I love you too, Joey. Always'

Joey smiled, wrapping his arm around his wife's shoulders, she shifted on the sofa to lean against him, he watched as his son fed. Joey knew he was a very lucky man. He'd stared death in the face and had won. Everything that'd happened since the day he was given the worst news ever had been because of the choices he'd made. He could've chosen not to tell Lauren, not to see her again. He could've chosen to live with his fate and not fight it. He could've chosen not to have the life-saving surgery. But that would've meant he wouldn't have what he had now. A wife who he adored and a son who was the apple of his eye and a daughter on the way. Of course, if he'd chosen to wear a condom he wouldn't have either of those two blessings.

Eighteen months ago he was given six months to live. Just six short months. Now he had fifty years left…or sixty or seventy…who knew? However long he had he was going to make the most of it, do everything he could to make his wife and son and daughter happy. He turned and pressed a kiss to the top of Lauren's head and smiled. He was going to live life to the full. He looked at his wife and he smiled as she fed their son. How long will I love you? He asked himself silently. As long as he possibly could, was the answer.

**AN: Thank you for all your reviews for this story. I am so glad you like it. I'm sorry but this is the last chapter and I couldn't tell you that yesterday because then you would have all known it was going to have been a happy ending! And I needed to lull you all into thinking Joey had died again! Anyway, leave me a review….**

**The End**


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